I'll fly away

by *singerofthenight*

Published March 7, 2008

In poems

I’ll fly away
Oh Glory,
I’ll fly away in the morning
When I die, hallelujah by and by.
I’ll fly away

As I travel lone’ and far through a journey in my mind,
I’ll fly away.
Searching for a love like gold, deep down in my soul
Ohhhh I’ll fly away.

I’ll fly away
Oh glory
I’ll fly away in the morning,
When I die, hallelujah by and by.
I’ll fly away.

Comments & reviews · 6
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evieffizz
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evieffizz commented Comment · Mar 20, 2008

i like this its good and it expresses someones (mabye yours) feelings and its good.
*sighs*
but im a little disapointed to hear you've taken the words and made them into your own.

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Moony
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Moony commented Comment · Mar 7, 2008

yeah it looks like the other person's I'll Fly Away

*singerofthenight* commented Comment · Mar 7, 2008

it sorta iss........umm i guess i do need to fix that dont i?

Caligula's Launderette wrote a review Review · Mar 7, 2008

This looks very much like the Christian Hymn I'll Fly Away, I would watch out for that, because using another's words without citation is considered plagiarism.

My two cents on this are that you need to rethink the repetition and the line breaks. I think you should, perhaps, reformat the longer lines.

Really the meat of your poem is the second stanza, you should keep that and elaborate on that part, and get rid of the rest.

Hope this helps; good luck.

:D

Ta,
Cal.

busboys and poets commented Comment · Mar 7, 2008

Here's an idea: spell your title correctly. It will predispose your critiquers to being kind.



laughter is the best medicine, not apples.
— paigey