Did you hear?
The sound of yonder train.
Did you hear?
A whisper call your name.
Did you hear?
The moon come up at night.
Did you hear?
Me give up without a fight.
No!
I shall not.
I will fight till the end,
And until the end is no more.
Shhhh...Did you hear?
I've won!
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139,487 Literary Works • 672,577 Reviews
I liked this poem...
A lot of people tell me to stay away from repetition but it seems to work for you. I totally understood your meaning, which is the point of a poem. So good job!
Keep writing!!
This was really good! My favorite part, because I think most people (if not, just me because I'm crazy) can relate to it is the "Did you hear my give up without a fight" part. For some reason that was amazing to me, and made me want to read the poem over and over.
Keep writing!
That was really cute! It was good too. Though you might want to stay away from repeating the same line as many times as you did. Though in this one it worked into it.
You are really good at writing free verse and I'm going to challenge you to write a sonnet or something like that. I tried it, and I think that I got better when I did. (just a suggestion) And try to look up the hardest poetry forms to write and give it a try, I was amazed at how much work that I needed to do on all of my poetry. Hope you can use this. Keep writing!
well....finally! the whole perpose of this poem was basically because i was bored.....
and because i wanted to show a meaning. dont give up unless you have no other choice....that it there still remains a choice, because then you would have to make one....and i just lost myself in my own words......blahhh.....you know what i mean
That was a really good poem!
I don't know if that's what the poem was suppposed to be like, but I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just finished playing a pirate video game AND I'm looking at my pirate group stuff right now, so I pictured pirates saying that poem.
Again, the poem was really good but the only indecisive thing is that I think you should say "the moon come up at night" instead of "the sun" because it is the night time.