Can you see me??? part 1

by *singerofthenight*

  • Poetry
  • Narrative

Published February 17, 2010

In poems

PreviousNext

This is going to be a book. I didn't know if i should put it under poetry or fiction. It's in poetry form so I'll just put it under here. If not just move it and please let me know:)

[ANITA]

SOMETIMES I WISH
I was never born.
being the middle
child of three, i'm
rarely looked at, but
when someone does
happen to glance
my way, they get this
dazed
look in their eyes,
like they don't even
recognize me.
Maybe they don't.
Hell, I don't even recognize
my own face in the mirror,
much less know
who I am anymore
what is the
point?

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
*singerofthenight*
Comment
*singerofthenight* commented Comment · Feb 18, 2010

That's a good idea actually:) Can I steal the Can you see me????? Lol

User avatar
LaurenOutLoud
Review
LaurenOutLoud wrote a review Review · Feb 18, 2010

That had a lot of emotion.
I liked it. :smt001
It could have better fluency, but it's not bad.
If you want some ideas for the title, how about Invisible or Can You See Me?
:smt001



It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill —The Hill, as all the people for many miles round called it—and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another.
— JRR Tolkien