Heyyy,
Rubes here with a review! I really enjoyed the piece and think it was extremely well written. In my reviews I like to pick a few quotes and analyse them, so that you can see an interpretation and compare it to the purpose that you wrote it for (if that makes sense). I feel like this helps the writers to see mistakes in their techniques and change it to be more suitable for them and the poem/novel/chapter etc.
Anyways, let’s get into it!
“My shadows follow me in my sleep
They tell me all the things I can't be”
Oooh, really nice start here. I can visualise this quite clearly which is really important, especially to me, when reading. Personally, I see a broken down emotional state, a mental dystopia in a way. It’s created from self-criticism and a pressure to always succeed, when really it's impossible to be able to do that.
Really strong start!
“Cover my petals in the shadows of all kinds
Pretend that the sadness is not there”
Strange! I like this though. I do find it a bit confusing, but then again I’m only fourteen ; I’m only just getting used to advanced writing such as this. I view the ‘petals’ to be describing the true feelings - and in this case sadness - and mental state of the protagonist. The shadows appear to me to be the doubt, pressure, sadness, fear etc both originating from other people, as well as our own selves.
“Feel the flowerbed of misery”
This metaphor is gorgeous! Flowers grow, just like some of our pains and emotional distress in life, and this shows it beautifully. I also like the contrast between flowerbeds and misery. The brightness and happiness being associated with flowers juxtaposing with the dullness and pain of misery. It’s been very well written also!
“Let the shadows follow us in our sleep
Our paranoias creepin' in”
Good use of semantic field!
Points: 226
Reviews: 58
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