z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

How To Train Your Dragon Chapter 3- That Wasn't In The Plan!

by puppys3117


*I say 'Hiccup' a lot in the first part of the chapter. Since Stoick is there too, I wasn't able to say 'he', for my readers might have gotten confused*

Hiccup and I returned home that day, exhausted from all the walking. He invited me to spend the night, and I gladly accepted. Stoick was next to the coal fire in the middle of his house. His eyes were closed, bags under them. I could tell he had a rough day looking for the dragons nest. Hiccup pointed upstairs with a finger to his lips. I quick-stepped up, while Hiccup went up on hands and feet.

"Hiccup," Stoick started, getting to his feet, "I have to speak with you."

"Err... I have something to say, too, Dad. You first."

"Alright then. I'm putting you in dragon training! You can finally learn to kill your own dragon, son!" He finished with a hardy laugh.

No! I screamed in my mind.

"Oh gosh, I should've gone first. I was going to say that I don't want to kill a dragon."

"Sure you do!"

"No, Dad, I don't want to anymore! I can change my mind if I want.

"Well, its too late for that. I already told Gobber you would join his class. I also got your girlfriend Dagny in there, so you wouldn't be alone."

Hiccup glanced up at me, then replied, "Ok..."

What? He didn't say 'She's not my girlfriend?' I might pass out from hearing this! I thought with joy.

Stoick handed Hiccup a large axe.

"Now... you will become a Viking." He walked away. "I'm off to find the dragons nest again. You have fun."

I jumped down the stairs.

"We have to look for that dragon again!" I almost shouted at him.

"I know we do, but the first dragon killing class starts tomorrow, and it's late. We wont be able to do it until after the session." He told me.

"Oh snap..."

"What?"

"I'm just thinking out loud." I lied to him, then asked, "Why didn't you tell Stoick we weren't together?

"I wasn't sure how to answer. I mean, we spend a bunch of time together, so how could I say 'We aren't dating' or 'We are dating'?" He explained with a wink.

I blushed. I thought Hiccup had feelings for Astrid. Or maybe he did...

***

"Welcome to dragon training!" Gobber said to us all.

Astrid, Fishlegs, Snoutlout, and Ruff and Tuff were all here with me and Hiccup. The wind was fierce and blew my hair everywhere. With my hair in my face, I followed Hiccup to everyone else. We stood in a straight line, all with some sort of weapon.

"You kids will be learning to fight some of the toughest dragons in Berk. Including the Gronkle." Goober put his hand on a switch.

"Aren't you going to teach first?" Snoutlout asked while moving slightly forward.

"I believe in learning on the job." He opened a gate and a huge Gronkle flew out. Its rough, brown skin was ugly but amazing at the same time. "What's the first thing you'll need?"

"A shield," Astrid answered.

"Correct! If you have to choose between a sword or shield, take the shield."

I threw a shield at Hiccup and got one for myself. Snoutlout flirted with Astrid and got out easily, since she distracted him enough. Fishlegs was out next from saying what a Gronkles shot limit is. Ruff and Tuff argued over what shield they got. Now it was just Hiccup, Astrid, and me.

"Looks like its just us three now, Hiccup." I informed him.

The Gronkle made a sudden move on Hiccup. It startled him so much that he dropped his shield. I tossed my shield to him and tried to grab the one that was rolling around. The Gronkle seemed to like me more, since he came over to me. It pushed me back to the walls.

"Dagny!" Hiccup shouted. Gobber grabbed the dragons mouth with his hook-hand.

"Go back to bed you overgrown lizard!" Gobber said while throwing the dragon back in its cage. "Let this be a lesson to all of you. Dragons always... always go for the kill."

***

"Then why didn't you," I whispered, looking at perfectly good ropes from the Element Caster.

I walked farther down the worn out forest trail, Hiccup by my side. There was something up ahead. It looked like a large cavern. We walked in carefully. Something green and orange was lying on the ground half dead.

It was the Element Caster.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
6 Reviews


Points: 499
Reviews: 6

Donate
Sun Jun 15, 2014 4:51 am
MydnytRayn wrote a review...



Once again good, but, if you don't mind, I found a mistake. I notice the second and third time you wrote Gobbers name, it was spelled Goober. I don't know if this is a mistake or not, but it seemed out of place, as one might say.
Another point is in the end, when Dagny says 'So why didn't you', did they cut the ropes off? I don't know if there are two Elementy? Sorry if this isn't makeing sence, but it didn't say in the last chapter if they cut its ropes or not.
Well, good story and hope to read more!
-Mydnyt




puppys3117 says...


no, they didn't cut the ropes off. the Elementy shrunk its wings and get free, and thx for pointing the Gobber mistake. I always do that :P



User avatar
232 Reviews


Points: 5846
Reviews: 232

Donate
Sat Jun 14, 2014 5:12 pm
WillowPaw1 wrote a review...



Hey! Willow here for another review!

I think Wolf struck on a big point, which is the details. Describing what the dragons look like would be so much more helpful to the reader, and more enjoyable. With lack of details, the reader is struggling to imagine what the creature looks like. It is large, with shiny purple scales, or maybe small with a long tongue and orange scales? It's hard to imagine.

My second point of criticism is the last part. I got kind of confused at what was going on, and if she was talking to herself or Hiccup. Or maybe we're just not supposed to know yet? :3

Lastly, I just wanted to say something about Astrid and Snoutlout. Snoutlout likes Astrid, right? And I know in the movie Astrid doesn't like him back, but maybe explaining how she reacts to his flirting and actions to try to win her over would be helpful. I mean, since you've sort of tweaked with the characters and plot a little, maybe Astrid likes him? Or not.

Now, I'm going to be a little positive. *cheers*

Okay, I love how you're almost taking lines from the movie and actually placing them in here. For example, when Hiccup and his Father were having the talk, and Hiccup said,"Man, I should've gone first," or something like that, I could totally remember that from the story.

This is going along smoothly so far and I can't wait to see what's going to happen! (I mean, I sort of know but you're changing some things so yeah :D)

Great job!!

WillowPaw1~

PS: Did you see How To Train Your Dragon 2?




puppys3117 says...


ok understood, will try best :3 and YES I DID IT WAS BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE I WANNA SEE IT AGAIN BUT I CANT TILL IT GOES ON DVD O,O



WillowPaw1 says...


Cool. ;)

And it was that good? Man, now I want to see it!



puppys3117 says...


I saw it at a drive in theater so I didn't get home til 11:30 pm XD and yes it was just that good! can I spoil a few parts PLLLZZZZ :3



WillowPaw1 says...


Oh lol. And noooooooooo I must see it for myself 0.o :p



puppys3117 says...


poooooooop I cant hold in this one part o,o LET ME SPOIL ONE PART PLZ XD



WillowPaw1 says...


I know the feeling but NOPE NOPE NOPE :S



puppys3117 says...


poo D:



WillowPaw1 says...


;)



puppys3117 says...


:3



puppys3117 says...


well I gtg but I want u to look at the front page... :D



WillowPaw1 says...


K :D



puppys3117 says...


hola again derpy :3 and I forgot to say, ur not supposed to know who Dagny was talkin' to, and Astrid is going to like... someone ;) lol I will give you a hint though if u want it



User avatar
767 Reviews


Points: 26330
Reviews: 767

Donate
Sat Jun 14, 2014 4:27 pm
SpiritedWolfe wrote a review...



Hello Puppys, Wolf here for a review.

First off, some nitpicks:

I could tell he had a rough day looking for the dragons nest.

How? How did she know? What gave her the tip- off? Were there dark circles under his eyes? Or was he breathing heavily? Always remember, show us, don't tell us.
NO! I thought-screamed.

Two things: first, 'thought-screamed' seems really akward. I would recommend using 'screamed in my head'. Next, try to avoid using all caps. It seems more professional like that, an exclamation point is enough.
Stoick handed Hiccup a large axe.

Wait...? Wasn't Stoick on the ground with his eyes closed? Never was it mentioned that he opened his eyes, got up, and grabbed an axe. Details! I cannot stress this enough.
He walked away, off to look for the dragons nest again.

Again, how does the narrator know this? Remember, this is in first person, so this character doesn't know the motives and thoughts of other characters, so unless they were told that Stoick was going off to search for the dragon's nest (which doesn't make sense since its supposing night), then she shouldn't say that as a fact. You could add probably in there.
He opened a gate and a huge Gronkle flew out.

What is a Gronkle? Describe it. Explain it. I am completely confused on what is going at them. I get that it's a dragon, but how big? How vicious looking? Details!

Nice cliff hanger ending, and I like that little love story twist in there. You've got a nice plot sort of forming around these two characters, but, once again, details are lacking. I know I've touched on this before, but this is really important to grabbing the interest or the reader, because if something is all action, well it leaves the readers always wondering on looks. Add those! Anyway, this is forming quite nicely. Keep Writing,
~Wolfare




puppys3117 says...


sorry about lack of detail, and im used to writing with narrative :3




have u ever noticed how ugly rosy-lipped batfish r? and not like in the “aw ur so ugly ur cute” way that like opossums r — no they’re just hideously ugly beasts that should never have existed and r the epitome of evolution fails. the stupidity, blank look, head emptiness. they’re horrible n everyone who likes them r horrible too. they truly have the worst fan-base >:[
— Shady