Stormcloud padded away from Moon's cave den. Heading slowly into the forest, Stormcloud swerved around rocks on the winding path. Pebbles dug themselves into her paws, but she didn't care. She was thinking about important things rather than tiny rocks. I'm suspicious about that Moon. Who does she think she is? She must know where he is. She's got to. He went into this forest; I saw him! Bluejay stumbled into these trees, I saw it. I just lost him. I can't let Bluejay wake up alone in that cave with a stranger. I'm going back, and this time I'm coming back with Bluejay.
Stormcloud whirled around and sped through the forest. Leaves swirled to the ground in her wake. As the she-cat barreled on, cuts and scratches accumulated on her face from branches. Finally Stormcloud burst into the clearing, panting. Moon had just been heading out of her den, but she jumped and stared at Stormcloud. "Come back to get something?"
"You bet, furball. I came back to get Bluejay." Stormcloud snarled.
Moon's eyes widened, but she growled back. "I told you, I haven't seen him. I don't have him here and I never have."
"I saw him come into this forest. You're the only healer that could have gotten to him. You're telling me where he is or I'll force it out of your mouth with my claws."
Moon stayed silent, so Stormcloud made her move. Extending her sharp claws, Stormcloud plunged into the air and toppled Moon over, battering her with her forepaws. Unfortunately for Stormcloud, Moon had some moves in mind too, and the two cats wrestled each other down in front of the cave.
Rolling around in the grass clawing and biting into fur, the two she-cats didn't realize how close they were to the cave housing Bluejay. Suddenly the two cats felt themselves tumbling down the dark, steep tunnel to the cave. Bump! Moon hit the ground running and ended up on the other side of the cave as quickly as she had come into the cave. Stormcloud landed in a pile of herbs, softening her fall and soothing her cuts. Moon yowled in anger as Stormcloud ran up to Bluejay and gave him a lick. "He's mine!"
The call rang out and echoed through the cave. Moon shut her mouth, unable to believe she said what she had said. Now Stormcloud knew.
Stormcloud slowly looked up from Bluejay and locked eyes on Moon. The she-cat, put under the spotlight by her love, cowered into the corner of the cave under Stormcloud's gaze. "He's what?" Stormcloud glared menacingly at Moon. Is this why she's been hiding him? Well, romance or no romance, Bluejay's got to be with me. Not just for my own good, but for his - we have something to accomplish here, and all Moon wants is to live with him in her little cave.
Stormcloud approached Moon. "All you want here is to live with him? You are so selfish! So ignorant! Can't you see I need him for something important we have to do? All you want Bluejay for is being his mate! I have shared a dream, an omen, with this tom. He needs to be with me to complete our mission. The fate of all cats lays in our paws together, not alone. I need him more than you do!"
Moon slowly sunk into a submissive pose. Stormcloud was right. Bluejay belonged with Stormcloud. Moon nodded. "You're right," Moon whispered. "He belongs with you. I was too selfish to understand. Go ahead and take him to where he needs to go. But promise me something first."
"What do I need to promise?"
"Promise me that you'll give him the love he deserves."
"What?"
"I know you are a proud cat who doesn't show love easily. And I also know that this Bluejay is a friend whom you wish to be with forever. I just want you to promise that you'll put away your pride for long enough to show him he's loved. He doesn't understand that you have feelings for him. You need to show him that, or else he won't show you if he feels the same way. Now promise me."
"I-I promise."
"Good. Now go wake him up and take him somewhere safe. And remember your promise. Don't break it."
"I won't."
Moon watched as the gray she-cat fondly twisted her tail with Bluejay's as they walked into the forest. She only could hope that love wouldn't distract their duties.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello!

I couldn't find anything to correct in this, no grammar mistakes, no spelling mistakes, nothing wrong!
Great job with this! Keep writing this book, I have a feeling it's going to be awesome. 

nice....
)
Wonderful, wonderful, just wonderful!
~Snazzy
(just reread that last sentence I wrote.....
This was really good! I really liked it! I can't wait until the next chapter. When are you going to publish the next chapter. Is this series almost over. Just asking, but I don't want it to be. I never want this series to end because its too good but it hast to end. I cant wait to find out what happenes next. this was awesome and I didn't see mistakes.. so ya... plus you are smart enough to find your own nitpicks.. talk to you later...
Thanks so much!
No problem.
Hi, Em!
I must say this: I feel this is one of the best chapters yet. To me , of course. But the emotion was much stronger than all the other chapters, plus the battle between Moon and Stormcloud was unexpected! I totally thought Moon was this innocent (well, not innocent), scared-of-fights kind of cat. But ohhhhh was I wrong.
Oh, man, that would be a huge dilemma if that happened. If Bluejay understood Stormcloud in the middle of the cats' mission, and problem would arise. Oh gosh. -.- Great job on creating a new twist in the plot, though. It's like a road. Going straight, straight, then a big curve because of the dream, then straight again, and more tiny curves, then straight, and the another huge curve because of this! Great job!
I also like the thoughts running through Stormcloud's head, that really showed off the emotion strongly.
Now, I had another thing to say, but my mind went blank, so maybe for the next chapter!
Sorry about that! :3
WillowPaw1~
Thanks Willow!
! Don't worry, my mind blanks out about ten times a day 
Lol, same here.