Young Writers Society

Hello, Laure!
RachelLeeAnn here to review!

Though there isn't much subject material to review, I'll do my best.
I really like the concept behind this. When I read the title "Carved Words," I immediately pictured words carved into a tree. However, after reading the poem, I realize it's more of words being "carved" into a person, if you will. At least, that's how I interpreted it...
I've had my fair share of short poems, so I won't bash you too hard about the fact that it's very, very short. I would LOVE to see you expand this a bit more.

Great job!
-Rae^^

Hello, Laure!
RachelLeeAnn here to review!

Though there isn't much subject material to review, I'll do my best.
I really like the concept behind this. When I read the title "Carved Words," I immediately pictured words carved into a tree. However, after reading the poem, I realize it's more of words being "carved" into a person, if you will. At least, that's how I interpreted it...
I've had my fair share of short poems, so I won't bash you too hard about the fact that it's very, very short. I would LOVE to see you expand this a bit more.

Great job!
-Rae^^

Hey Laure!

Why is there a period in the middle of the poem setting up uncomfortable fragments? Your title though, I adore.

When I'm thinking of carved words, I'm thinking of this:


I thought you had interesting concepts mixed in here -- the idea of carved words, the idea of bearing them forever, and the idea of words spoken in anger, but there's absolutely no development here. This is really just a statement of an idea rather than a poem as it stands. I would have liked to see some usage of poetic imagery, maybe in describing the carvings themselves, or some experience of a moment. If you didn't break the lines up, we'd just have:

Words spoken out of anger are most often the ones you bear for life

How is this any different from a quote? :/ Nah, Laure, I've read your poems before, and I know you've written other pieces that do have imagery, development and scenes, so give me more of that! Were these words written during a time when something was said that hurt? Give us that speaker's voice, give us that scene, that moment when you felt inspired to write this down, that we as readers might be able to connect to that moment alongside you.

I hope this helps,

~ as always, Audy

This is AMAZING!
This is amazing for the following reasons (a) the reader can relate (b) it is good advice, (c)no errors or mistakes and therefore (d) easy, and pleasant to read.
You've done a great job, and I personally quite like the simplicity of your words. It just gives the message of the poem loud and clear with no messing about. I like it! I apologise for the lack-of-criticism, but I hope you can forgive me Keep up the awesome writing, Laure!
-CFG

Hey Laure, Shauzer here reviewing
I liked this poem a lot. This is rare for me, since I can't remember the last poem so short I enjoyed. I think this one was so good because it actually has meaning, it's too often we see a haiku-like that's just been put together randomly. This one seems like it has meaning behind it, and for that fact alone it surpasses any others I've seen. The only mistake I can see is that you put a full stop on the second line. Even in a poem so tiny, the flow should be constant, and this puts a damper in it. Just watch out for small things like that. I had to read back over it, and I don't like having to read back over something. It takes me out of the world you've created and dumps me back into crappy reality But I still enjoyed it immensely, or as much as you can something so short.
Keep writing,
Yours in ink,
TS

True.
But I have the tendency to think that the truth comes out when we're angry.
Censorship goes out of the window and you say what you've been meaning to.
So it's a good thing in disguise maybe.
Hmmm,

'Words spoken out of anger'
You've got too simple language here to analyse
I can see why you broke the lines down so it emphasises each individual point. But at the same time, it is easy enough to digest as one sentence.

'Are most often'
I feel that you need some sort of punctuation at the end of the this because it just runs into one another. Enjambment is fine, but only in certain circumstances and this needs to be broken up a bit.

'the ones you bear for life'
if the message of this piece is the whole: 'think before you speak' thing, then great, but it comes across as a little bit preachy because you are literally just putting it out there.
I'm sure we've all said things we regret and we know that, but that makes this a dwelling poem.

I admire what you're doing, I would just have dressed it up a bit, as opposed to being quite so blatant.