I'm feeling 3 AM,
and walking down this street I know
that all these strangers must see
every secret and sin
carved into my skin like calligraphy.
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I'm feeling 5:55
on no sleep,
and it's the second time this week I've sat up staring at the ceiling
trying to explain that it's not a factor whether the cup is half empty
or full
it's that I can see the water leaking out.
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I'm feeling midnight,
12 PM,
fearing haunting hour again.
Yelling at my brain to sleep before the clock strikes three
and the cycle repeats.
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I'm feeling tick tock -
goes the clock.
[color=#FFFFFF].[/color]
There are too many hours in a day.
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137,428 Literary Works • 672,015 Reviews
Hey, there!
I really feel like I can relate to this poem in so many ways. I'm always up at odd hours, and even when I do manage sleep, I can hardly sleep the night through. My mind is a restless thing. I especially hate it when I get random ideas for writing in the middle of the night. I'm just like 'damn it brain, shut up'. Might be because I usually feel the most inspired at night.
Anyway, I like the way that this is written. It feels like broken thoughts that seem to linger for awhile when insomnia strikes.
"fearing haunting hour again"
^I really love that line!
Whenever I stay up until midnight, I really feel like that kind of seals whether or not I get any decent sleep. Call me odd, I try not to stay up late so I can get some decent sleep, when I can help it.
Anyway, I kind of rambled. I'll stop now.
I'll definitely take a peek at some of your other work in the future!
Hello, Reise!
Kanome here!
I read this before, like, a long time ago, but I forgot to review it on that day xD
Anywho! I like this poem.
I used to feel the same way, apparently...
This quote though..
It made me laugh hard. Just saying.
I really like your poetry, I don't know why you say they're bad and don't let me read them when I want xD
You're better than me when it comes to writing, so deal with this compliment!
Can't wait to read more, my friend c:
Lol, and look at us both. 5 AM and still on YWS.
Yeah xD lol, and even Brad is still up.
Tell him I said hi!
Brad said hello!
This is awesome. I can totally relate to all of this. I really like the last three lines (especially the last), as well as the last three lines in the second stanza.
Just one thing that I noticed:
At midnight it is 12 AM, whereas midday is 12 PM.
Yeah I tried to change that once but the editing is kind of messed up for poem formatted like this. Thanks though xD
Oh okay xD It's a really fabulous poem
Hey there ReisePiecey, I love this work you've done!
First of all, I love " I'm feeling 3 AM," Like it's an actual object to feel and like your character can sense it as if they do it often.
I love it how you do that all the way through as well, it really adds effect to the poem and makes the reader want to read on as they want to know what time it'll be and what your character does next.
Your last line too, OH MY, AMAZING.
It totally rounds off the poem and makes it complete, it's such a great and powerful line though!
My favourite lines of the whole poem is probably...
"every secret and sin
carved into my skin like calligraphy."
It's so beautifully phrased and the reader can totally just picture that!
Great work, I love it!
-CFG
Hello!
This is a review to you!
This is very different to most other poems I've read, not that I've read many...
I like the idea of it, it's interesting.
While i was reading your poem, I enjoyed every line of your poem. I love it. Also i listened to your record. And i liked it. You have a very beautiful voice. It sounds sad, dispirited, upset, but i liked it, cause your voice is very "suitable" for this poem. I want to read your other poems!
Keep going!
- Ophelia
I can relate to this.
I have always enjoyed setting the time in my writings, and I noticed that the times when everyone's sleeping but us, is the time when we wish we were "sleeping" aswell.
This was really touching, I sort of look at it and think how sometimes I feel like there's no one who has these feelings, like I'm the only person that's awake at 5 am for the fifth night in a row, before passing out at 10am, when everyone else is getting up.
My favorite lines are;
I'm feeling midnight,
12 AM,
fearing haunting hour again.
Because I know that feeling so well.
Thank you for sharing this!
Nice, very well executed. I really enjoyed the repetition in this, and how the last line sort of broke it. The rhythm can be seen throughout the whole poem and really helps it flow very easily. My favorite line is the last, because you can really feel the exhaustion behind it after the previous lines. It just ties everything together so well.
..