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Insomnia

by Sassafras


	 I'm feeling 3 AM,
	 and walking down this street I know
	 that all these strangers must see
	 every secret and sin
	 carved into my skin like calligraphy.
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	 I'm feeling 5:55
	 on no sleep,
	 and it's the second time this week I've sat up staring at the ceiling
	 trying to explain that it's not a factor whether the cup is half empty
	 or full
	 it's that I can see the water leaking out.
[color=#FFFFFF].[/color]
	 I'm feeling midnight,
	 12 PM,
	 fearing haunting hour again.
	 Yelling at my brain to sleep before the clock strikes three
	 and the cycle repeats.
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	 I'm feeling tick tock -
	 goes the clock.
[color=#FFFFFF].[/color]
	 There are too many hours in a day.


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Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:53 am
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SoundsOfSilence wrote a review...



Hey, there!

I really feel like I can relate to this poem in so many ways. I'm always up at odd hours, and even when I do manage sleep, I can hardly sleep the night through. My mind is a restless thing. I especially hate it when I get random ideas for writing in the middle of the night. I'm just like 'damn it brain, shut up'. Might be because I usually feel the most inspired at night.

Anyway, I like the way that this is written. It feels like broken thoughts that seem to linger for awhile when insomnia strikes.

"fearing haunting hour again"

^I really love that line!

Whenever I stay up until midnight, I really feel like that kind of seals whether or not I get any decent sleep. Call me odd, I try not to stay up late so I can get some decent sleep, when I can help it.

Anyway, I kind of rambled. I'll stop now.

I'll definitely take a peek at some of your other work in the future!




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Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:06 am
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Kanome wrote a review...



Hello, Reise!
Kanome here!

I read this before, like, a long time ago, but I forgot to review it on that day xD
Anywho! I like this poem.
I used to feel the same way, apparently...

This quote though..

Yelling at my brain to sleep before the clock strikes three

It made me laugh hard. Just saying.
I really like your poetry, I don't know why you say they're bad and don't let me read them when I want xD

You're better than me when it comes to writing, so deal with this compliment!
Can't wait to read more, my friend c:




Sassafras says...


Lol, and look at us both. 5 AM and still on YWS.



Kanome says...


Yeah xD lol, and even Brad is still up.



Sassafras says...


Tell him I said hi!



Kanome says...


Brad said hello!



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Sat Jun 28, 2014 6:41 am
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therealme says...



This is awesome. I can totally relate to all of this. I really like the last three lines (especially the last), as well as the last three lines in the second stanza.

Just one thing that I noticed:

I'm feeling midnight,
12 PM,

At midnight it is 12 AM, whereas midday is 12 PM.




Sassafras says...


Yeah I tried to change that once but the editing is kind of messed up for poem formatted like this. Thanks though xD



therealme says...


Oh okay xD It's a really fabulous poem :)



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Mon Dec 23, 2013 3:27 pm
ConverseFireGirl wrote a review...



Hey there ReisePiecey, I love this work you've done!
First of all, I love " I'm feeling 3 AM," Like it's an actual object to feel and like your character can sense it as if they do it often.
I love it how you do that all the way through as well, it really adds effect to the poem and makes the reader want to read on as they want to know what time it'll be and what your character does next.
Your last line too, OH MY, AMAZING.
It totally rounds off the poem and makes it complete, it's such a great and powerful line though! :D
My favourite lines of the whole poem is probably...
"every secret and sin
carved into my skin like calligraphy."
It's so beautifully phrased and the reader can totally just picture that! :D
Great work, I love it!
-CFG




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Sat Dec 21, 2013 11:52 am
FloralFlower wrote a review...



Hello!

This is a review to you!

This is very different to most other poems I've read, not that I've read many...

I like the idea of it, it's interesting.

While i was reading your poem, I enjoyed every line of your poem. I love it. Also i listened to your record. And i liked it. You have a very beautiful voice. It sounds sad, dispirited, upset, but i liked it, cause your voice is very "suitable" for this poem. I want to read your other poems!
Keep going!

- Ophelia




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Sat Dec 21, 2013 10:19 am
Jessheeran wrote a review...



I can relate to this.
I have always enjoyed setting the time in my writings, and I noticed that the times when everyone's sleeping but us, is the time when we wish we were "sleeping" aswell.

This was really touching, I sort of look at it and think how sometimes I feel like there's no one who has these feelings, like I'm the only person that's awake at 5 am for the fifth night in a row, before passing out at 10am, when everyone else is getting up.

My favorite lines are;

I'm feeling midnight,
12 AM,
fearing haunting hour again.

Because I know that feeling so well.
Thank you for sharing this!




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Sat Dec 21, 2013 8:16 am
Granger2291 wrote a review...



Nice, very well executed. I really enjoyed the repetition in this, and how the last line sort of broke it. The rhythm can be seen throughout the whole poem and really helps it flow very easily. My favorite line is the last, because you can really feel the exhaustion behind it after the previous lines. It just ties everything together so well.




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Sat Dec 21, 2013 7:28 am
Sassafras says...



..





AND DON'T FORGET IT'S HYDRATE OR DIEDRATE
— zaminami