Young Writers Society

Hi Liaya! It's Kristina here.

First of all, I have to say that you are a very good poet. Your poems that I have read so far, all make sense and have that special meaning in a way.

I have to admit, that while reading this poem, it relaxes me, maybe because it sounds calm. <3

Apart from that, your poem is like a "whole stanza." I would suggest for you that when you write a poem, try to divide it into stanzas (paragraphs). Because sometimes the reader may get the impression like reading it as a whole, instead of stanzas.

When you write in stanzas, you are giving the reader time to think about the poem, reflect on what he is reading. And of course, he will take a "short break" between stanzas.

But, keep on writing and well done on this poem!!

Hello, pandabear7 here! First off, I love the imagery! it's just wonderful to me. When I read this, for some reason I see a lighthouse and a ocean with a hurricane going across it. Lol. Then out of nowhere I see a hand reaching out. Anywho, back on topic, I like the format! Also, I do have to say I like the rhyme in the beginning I love to see rhymes especially if they are amazing. My main goal in poetry is to see if 1.) I can connect with what the reader is conveying, 2.) Grammar and lastly 3.) Imagery is amazing.

Keep up the writing!


xoxoxoxoxoxo

-panda

Hey there Liaya! Review for you here.

First off, nice poem. I like the way this was formatted and I greatly enjoyed the ideas that came out in this work. I particularly enjoyed the idea of loving the person unconditionally, even if that means suffering a little hurt. My only qualm with this would have to be that I could not establish right off the bat, whether or not this was supposed to rhyme or to be free verse.

"I'll be your lighthouse in a hurricane

Leading you home from a stormy sea

I'll be the wind at your back,

Guiding you back to me."

The first four lines do rhyme, but the meter is slightly off with the "Guiding you back to me." If you were trying to rhyme this portion, I think you should have tried to make the discourse a little smoother. Other than that, this was a fantastic poem with a very interesting idea interwoven. Great job! Keep it up!

Hello there
First of all well done on your poem , I really liked it. And as the person beneath me said, it really sounds like a song to me. Well, actually, poems are like songs, because songs are based on poems.

A thing which I would like to get your attention at, is the rhythym. Personally, I think that a poem should be based on rhyming verses/words, which makes it more attractive for people to read it, and others enjoy reading it too.

I have to admit that not all poems are based on rhymes, but I personally think that rhymes make a poem "well-dressed." Do not take it as an offence though, because I enjoyed reading your poem, but I just gave you a suggestion

Keep writing!

Very beautiful. Had the feel of a song more than a poem for me, but that might just be because I'm listening to the Tangled soundtrack. I can picture the story behind this very well, and I love the metaphor of the lighthouse and the wind.

One issue . . . "I'll be your lighthouse in a hurricane", to me, sounds a bit too much like "I'll be your Angel" (a beautiful R. Kelly and Celine Dion duet). I might just be imagining that, though. But you earned yourself a follow here.

Hey there! I don't usually review poetry, but here goes:

What I liked:

1. Good imagery, you used some nice description in there, added detail

2. The concise nature of the poem-- you don't ramble, you stick to one, clear point.

What I think you could work on:

1. The imagery could be more specific, more evocative, and less cliche. Right now, it's sort of generic light-housy stuff. But you don't want generic light-housy stuff! Try to be more original with the edtails that you add, make this personal and different.

2. This poem isn't very evocative. It seems to dwell in that dreaded white space called a page. Try to free the words from being just words. You should try to create a mood, encapsulate the tone and feel of the emotions. Be expressive here.

3. I would have liked to see the other individual in this. The distant lover describes themself as a lighthouse, but never really describes the one they love. You could do so much here. I'm thinking you know, "lost little red boat" style. I want to see both sides. As is, it seems rather generic.

There is one thing grammatically:

I love you unconditionally, and

Since your happiness