Hello there! mind if I take this line by line?
"If you're feeling lost and weary in the night" This first sentence gives me a nice, peaceful sense of simplicity. I noticed that you said in your description that you think this poem is a bit cliche. I will try and help you fix that, although this poem isn't too bad in the cliche-ness. For starters, I think that for this poem, this nice, honest, simple poem, the word "weary," while not totally unheard of, is not generally used in normal speaking language. I think the charm of this poem is that it is mostly written in normal speaking language. Perhaps "tired" or "empty" or something would work better there. Thesauri are are your friends! Also, I think you need a comma at the end of this line.
"There's someone out there who will put their arm around you" this is a cute little line. I like the affirmation that there IS someone out there. I also like that you introduced your main point so early on, and that we can tell what the title means so early on.
"And hold you tight." Again, cute. I like that it's on another line to draw your eye to the affection. "Tight," although kind of over used after holding, is still a nice image of squeeeeezing instead of merely putting your arm around someone. A sign that you never want to let them go.
"They'll see you for what you are and treasure"Aw. asdfjkadshfa that's so cute! This is really where your point come in. There is someone out there who won't just love you for your body or whatever. They love you for you! One thing I don't like is that you use "treasure" as a verb, but it never says what they're treasuring. I know you did this to rhyme, but it's still incorrect. You can put the subject on the next line, like "...are and treasure/ the time spent with you." That would need a period after "you," but no comma after "treasure." If you decide not to change it, I wouldn't know what to tell you to put after treasure, just that you would need some kind of pause.
"Mend your open wounds" This is a nice line, but with the next line meaning *kind of* the same thing, (fixing your problems) It doesn't really need to be here. You can stick it somewhere else if you want. It's a nice visual. If you keep this, it needs a comma.
"And turn your ashes into beauty beyond measure" this is a gorgeous line. It sound natural, and It's a stunning visual. Great work. This needs a period.
"When you feel discouraged by your condition" because you know we all do. 
This is a universal truth. I doubt anyone is completely satisfied about everything around them and about them. And you phrased it so nicely! Also, this needs a comma.
"You can rest assured and know you're not alone" I think rest-assured needs a hyphen. This is such a hopeful poem! I love it! Most of my poems aren't this happy. I applaud you because I find it hard to write anything hopeful. This needs either a period or a colon.
"There's someone out there with ears to listen." You may think this is cliche and sappy, but I really like it. I dunno. I must just be crazy.
"So when you feel the struggles beginning to weigh" Did I mention I also like the natural rhythm of your lines? It's very nice. It's a very nice poem to read aloud. you need a comma.
"Just close your eyes and let the heartache melt away." wait... What happened to that nice little rhyme scheme? You need a line before this! And you know what it should be? It should be talking about this "someone," because this line makes it sound like you JUST close your eyes. I think you meant to say something like
"So when you feel the struggles beginning to weigh,
And the heartache surrounds you,
That someone out there will melt it all away."
You don't have to do exactly that, but I would suggest something similar.
I know a lot of poems appeal to this kind of theme, but it is universal. You wrote this really well, and although it may be just a *tad* cliche, it could definitely be a lot worse. As I said earlier, one of the selling points for this is that it's so simple. ANYONE could understand this, and that's a beautiful thing. I really liked this poem
Great job! Keep writing!
~Fortis
Points: 4984
Reviews: 621
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