This is terribly beautiful. I almost cried because I can totally relate to these feelings. I love everything about it. I am totally grateful that you would write something like this. It is fantastic. Marrvelous work! Really.
Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
Looking to the stars,
I begin to cry;
My only question
"Why didn't I die?"
Life is a hinderance,
a true hell on earth;
Did my mother know this
on the day of my birth?
A sick joke it can be,
soldiering and striving;
Singing and pretending
"I like being alive!"
I see the reaper,
creeping ever closer;
In the form of a pistol,
drawn from of its holster.
Hate to say it
I'm too weak to try;
It would be easier
to lay down and die.
This is terribly beautiful. I almost cried because I can totally relate to these feelings. I love everything about it. I am totally grateful that you would write something like this. It is fantastic. Marrvelous work! Really.
i like the use of varying sentance lengths. you used alot of "advanced" words something i dont see in works very often. you seem to know what you"re doing and have a very vivid imagination and make it easy for the reader to connect and see what you saw while writing this peice. i didnt see many mistakes, if i saw any at all, but dont take my word for it, im not one who notices that kind of thing alot. but all in all, this is a good peice of writing.
Hey little author here,
Well this is a nasty poem. I thought it was beautiful and just plain horrible at same time. Seeing that you have enough people pointing out your mistakes, I'll point out the good things. This poem was very powerful and it was very pretty. It just showed how fake some people are on the outside when they are dying on the inside, and they do that its what on the insides that count. I have been in a stump at the moment and this has sort of inspired me. I reaallly hope that you put out more BEAUTIFUL poems like this one.
Keep writing 
Los! Oooh, such a pretty poem! Lemme give you a chopped-up review for this little beauty!
Looking to the stars,
I begin to cry;
My life is a hinderance,
A true hell on earth;
Did my mother know this
on the day of my birth?
But don't use mother, it's too simple. How about something philosophical like 'world', 'heaven', or, for the sake of repitition which will totally benefit your piece, 'stars'! 
that I powered on and strived;
Singing and pretending
"I like being alive!"
I see the reaper,
creeping ever closer;
in the form of a pistol,
pulled out of its holster.
hate to say it
I'm too weak to try;
It would be easier
if I lay down and die.
Hello there just a little thing this review is for review day so hope you don't mined if I make this a short review.
Hopes it helps.
OK one thing about this here is that you don't capitalize the letter after a coma and another thing of that sort you are supposed to capitalize the letter after a period.
Good work although this is kind of a nasty poem.
But your spelling was great at least I think so.
Until later "good bye and good luck."
Keep writing and good work also good luck.
~Jon~ 
Hopes it helped.
Forgive me if I rambled I do that a lot.
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