x3CoFx3

She pretends to like them, That sounds awkward to me. It feels like it needs one more syllable maybe, like it lost its rhythm right here. Other than that, I ...

I dream of colors. Black and white Technically black and white are neutrals, not colors lol. flowing ainlessly You spelled 'aimlessly' wrong. Standing together waiting patiently Put a comma after ...

Do you see me, still wanting to love you, but terribly torn between emotions. Put a question mark after that. This feeling is strange. The feeling of confusion and hate, ...

Mismatched and Ill fitted, "Ill" doesn't need to be capitalized. Doing its masters bidding of sins 'masters' needs an apostrophe. And reading the whole poem confused me; it's like your ...

As you walk down isle, Yes, it does need 'the' in it, and the right spelling of aisle. All eyes on you, Your heart's pace growing I think 'heart's pace' ...

Her diluted dreams drift and pass in the air does she dream of me? This should have a period after air, because the next part is a new sentence. Her ...

I like how you purposefully left out punctuation and capitalization; it makes this stand out more. You did a good job on this. of more-ness I think this sounds really ...

I like how original these lyrics are. The phrases in the parenthesis add to the atmosphere; I wonder how this would sound if it was made into a song! You're ...

You did a great job writing this. There are some ways you can improve the grammar, though. For one, there's this. Illuminating the calcium streaked walls and glinting O n ...

I have a brown hair She has a blond, I think it would make more sense to take out both the ''a''s, but that's just my opinion. She likes pink, ...

I also agree with sealegs, but you should also put punctuation and capitalization in your haiku, too. the real truth behind it all havoc will ensue And this part seems ...

This is okay, but really cliche. I think you could improve it a lot more by changing some parts around, making it into your own words instead of those phrases ...

This is good, I like the concept. Though I don't know what a bodega is :lol: , I'm guessing it's a place to buy drugs or something? and censored calloused ...

This is good and original! I like how the hawks can talk to him (Corren?) And some ways you could improve .... It clung to my skin like cold hands ...

'You're fading away' is a better choice. And I really like this poem, it kind of reminds me of myself sometimes. I also think you could do a lot more ...