Published April 14, 2010
I have brown hair
She has blond,
But you'll see more hair
At the hair salon.
I have gray eyes
He has light blue,
But all eyes are pretty
From my point of view.
I like Math
She likes History,
I can't agree with her
But it doesn't matter to me.
I can be quiet
But she can be loud,
But no matter what
We all make a sound.
I like the color blue
She likes pink,
But I will respect
What she thinks.
I like soccer
He likes football,
But it doesn't really matter
What sports you like at all.
We all are different
But it's on the inside,
Because if you really look
You'll like what you find.
Get to know this person
And be his friend,
Best friends are forever
Until now and till the end.
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139,596 Literary Works • 672,615 Reviews
I liked this poem. It was nice and simple, yet you nicely showed how people are different, and the rhyme did not feel forced.
The rhythm in the line "I like the color blue" was off, however. All the other first lines before had around 4 syllables; this one has 6. I suggest rewording it to "I like blue" so that it fits in more with the other "I ___" lines. Also, in the lines "And be his friend, / Best friends are forever", you repeat the word "friend". I can't think of anything better, but changing "best friends" to something else would be better.
I would also change the wording in "Until now and till the end" to "From now until the end." I think it sounds better.
I think it would make more sense to take out both the ''a''s, but that's just my opinion.
I think it would make more sense if you changed it from ''you think'' to ''she thinks''.
"The" should be changed to "to".
And over all, I like this poem okay; it's nice and simple and the rhyming makes it sound catchy.