You

by emmymcrawwr

  • Poetry
  • Dramatic

Published April 16, 2010

Some irrational hate I have for you is keeping me from loving you once more.
As I sit here, watching our friends go on like nothing happened.
As I watch you look at other girls, other victims of the vice that is you.
Do you see me, still wanting to love you, but terribly torn between emotions?
I long to be in your arms, to feel your touch, why do you deny me?
This feeling is strange, and hurtful, breaking my sanity down bit by bit.
The feeling of confusion and hate, betrayal and rage all swirled together in a cascade of pushing and pulling feelings.
You are not to blame here, though.
And neither am I, but no matter,
The hate still burns me inside.

Your eyes never linger on me, like they used to.
Your hands never brush my face or hold my body close to yours.
So you intend to tear me apart with the temptation?
Are you doing this on purpose?
Are you ignoring me, just to make me furious?
Just to prove a point of some kind?
You are contained behind bars of restriction,
And I am on the other side, wishing to feel your embrace.

Comments & reviews · 2
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x3CoFx3
Review
x3CoFx3 wrote a review Review · Apr 16, 2010

Do you see me, still wanting to love you, but terribly torn between emotions.

Put a question mark after that.
This feeling is strange.
The feeling of confusion and hate, betrayal and rage all swirled together in a cascade of pushing and pulling feelings.

The first line is really short while the next is long; that just seems sloppy to me. There's no meter or rhythm.
I like this poem, though. I just think it needs a little something more.



For according to the trollish philosopher Plateau, "if you wants to understan' an enemy, you gotta walk a mile in his shoes. Den, if he's still your enemy, at least you're a mile away and he's got no shoes."
— A Blink of the Screen by Terry Pratchett