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Re: My Heart
Hey this is really good although at times a little confusing. "Seems as though i am here to stay at least for a while it seems." This bit could use ...
Feb 12, 2015 -
Re: You're my Bestfriend
Howdy! I'm going to review your work for you! You’re my Best friend Best does not need to be capitalised. You’re the one I tell everything to A full stop ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: Human
Howdy! I'm going to review your work for you! Because I'm no longer Human. I just don't think because is the best word to use here. Neither does human need ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: Repetition Repetition Repetition
Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! such silly remarks. Such needs a capital ‘s’. towards you smiling. Towards needs a capital ‘t’. once you start to bleed. Once ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: Inception
I’m going to review your work! ☺ This is a short yet powerful poem! It is very good! It takes a while to digest though, can be confusing. Or giving ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: Fear
Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ Fear makes us scared, There needs to be a full stop not a comma. It's one of the ingrediants, Ingredients ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: Light
Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ First thing I’d say is beginning of a new line requires a capital letter. I won’t moan at you through it ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: This Is How It Ends
Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ Firstly, you don’t need half as many of the semi-colons you use. I would jump; I’d suggest putting a full stop ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: Proper Noun
Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ I think this is a really unique concept and is very good! Only one small nitpick with that strange liqueur, ‘With’ ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: LIFE
Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ The first thing I notice is the formatting. Right now it just looks like a couple of sentences. Try formatting it ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: She Can't know
Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ The fundamental problem I have with this is you half use punctuation and you half don’t you need to decide either ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: A Tiny Little White Lie
Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ “Sara,” She whispers, her eyes scanning the dark, empty street, hovering over every shadow, every crevice. ‘she’ does not need to ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: Now Known - Chapter one
Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ I’m not really sure you can call this a chapter as it is really short. In addition; it’s one paragraph. Chapters ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: He saved me
Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ Now I don’t know if this is a joke or what but you really need to think through what you have ...
Feb 24, 2013 -
Re: A whole lotta luck part 1
Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ No matter what you think or do, two plus two will always be four. I’m not sure why but I really ...
Feb 24, 2013
