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silentpatronus

  • Poetry » Romantic, General Re: My Heart

    Hey this is really good although at times a little confusing. "Seems as though i am here to stay at least for a while it seems." This bit could use ...

    Feb 12, 2015
  • Poetry » General, General Re: You're my Bestfriend

    Howdy! I'm going to review your work for you! You’re my Best friend Best does not need to be capitalised. You’re the one I tell everything to A full stop ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Poetry » Satire, General Re: Human

    Howdy! I'm going to review your work for you! Because I'm no longer Human. I just don't think because is the best word to use here. Neither does human need ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Poetry » Realistic, Narrative Re: Repetition Repetition Repetition

    Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! such silly remarks. Such needs a capital ‘s’. towards you smiling. Towards needs a capital ‘t’. once you start to bleed. Once ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Poetry » Film, Science Fiction Re: Inception

    I’m going to review your work! ☺ This is a short yet powerful poem! It is very good! It takes a while to digest though, can be confusing. Or giving ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Poetry » Literature, Literature Re: Fear

    Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ Fear makes us scared, There needs to be a full stop not a comma. 
 It's one of the ingrediants, Ingredients ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Poetry » Fantasy, Romantic Re: Light

    Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ First thing I’d say is beginning of a new line requires a capital letter. I won’t moan at you through it ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Narrative Re: This Is How It Ends

    Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ Firstly, you don’t need half as many of the semi-colons you use. I would jump;
 I’d suggest putting a full stop ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Poetry » Action / Adventure, General Re: Proper Noun

    Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ I think this is a really unique concept and is very good! Only one small nitpick with that strange liqueur,
 ‘With’ ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Poetry » Action / Adventure, General Re: LIFE

    Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ The first thing I notice is the formatting. Right now it just looks like a couple of sentences. Try formatting it ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Poetry » Action / Adventure, Dramatic Re: She Can't know

    Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ The fundamental problem I have with this is you half use punctuation and you half don’t you need to decide either ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, Supernatural Re: A Tiny Little White Lie

    Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ “Sara,” She whispers, her eyes scanning the dark, empty street, hovering over every shadow, every crevice. ‘she’ does not need to ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Now Known - Chapter one

    Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ I’m not really sure you can call this a chapter as it is really short. In addition; it’s one paragraph. Chapters ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: He saved me

    Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ Now I don’t know if this is a joke or what but you really need to think through what you have ...

    Feb 24, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: A whole lotta luck part 1

    Howdy ☺ I’m going to review your work! ☺ No matter what you think or do, two plus two will always be four. I’m not sure why but I really ...

    Feb 24, 2013


Some people are hourglass shaped, some people are apple shaped, some people are pear shaped, some people are even bean pole shaped, but if we’re not careful we all become banana shaped. This is your gentle posture reminder.
— Ranger