Fear

Howdy ☺

I’m going to review your work! ☺

Fear makes us scared,

It's one of the ingrediants,

It gets us excited,


It's known as horror.

It's known as fright.

It seeks darkness,

It has no light.


It may be influencial,


Hi Kyla, I'm Sparkle.

This poem is very relatable. It is heart-felt and seems well thought out. I think you portrayed fear very well, which is hard to do with a feeling that can take so many forms and mean so many different things.

I only have a few things I want to mention.

"It may be influencial,"
Maybe it's just me, but I felt that this line had a few sylables too many and didn't really fit in with the rest of the poem.

Also,
"It is also something
People can feel."
This line confused me a bit. What would it be if not something people can feel? Some animals can feel, or something unfeelable? It seemed like it might be a bit redundant or just trying to fit into the rhyme scheme.

I like the way you ended this poem. It is a good closing statement, and wraps the poem up nicely. This is a really good poem. Hope I helped!

Hello there Kayla, Dogs here with your review. I liked this piece, short and simple, although you use a bit of a cliche topic you do make it work for you. A couple quick notes from me:

In this poem, I would suggest making stanzas out of this big ol' block of test. Especially because you use the perfect writing style to make a new stanza every four lines. It'll make your writing look smoother and better, try it out I would suggest. So it'll look something like:

"Fear is nonfiction,
Fear is real.
It is also something
People can feel.

Fear is big,
Fear is small."

You get the point. Also I was a little confused as to why you italics the entire piece. It seems unnecessary and you don't really need it in this case. Just switch it back to normal writing text, unless the italics greatly adds to your poem.

Finally, you do great comparisons and what not, but you use "fear" a little bit too much in your poem. I would suggest looking it up in a thesaurus to subsitute it out with a synonym. It'll really help your writing, I use it every time I sit down to write any sort of literature. I enjoyed reading this piece, short simple and to the point. Let me know if you ever need a review. Keep up the good work!

TuckEr EllsworTh

Hi, i'll be reviewing your poem today, but it will be quite a short one

Firstly i think you've grasped the feeling of fear very well, i like how you've described and how simply but effectively you've managed to make you poem flow together.

Just some minor suggestions, i'd have liked to see you continue on with the rhyming scheme you started with, i don't ususally like rhyming but you set the tone well with it in this instance.
In this line;

"It gets us excited,
As it takes us through life."

I would have liked to see you go into more depth with this line, maybe saying how fear excites us, the adreneline of it and how it takes us through life?

"It happens to the
Best of us all."

This was my favourite part in your poem because it shows that fear can inflict anyone, no matter how courageous they may seem and how fear can be conquered.

Overall good poem! Hope i was of help to you
If you want another review or anything you can PM me.

-Infinity x

Hi!

All in all, I liked this poem but you should have made it a full-rhyming poem. Never mind! You have done a good job! ^^ Though there are some things to clear based on fear, which is why, I shall take up all the energy to review.

Nitpicks:

1.

KylaThompson wrote:It's one of the ingrediants,[/quote[
"ingredients. Wrong spelling.

2.

KylaThompson wrote:It gets us excited,
As it takes us through life.

Fear gets us excited? Doesn't it get us scared, actually? If you're trying to mean something else, I didn't get the real meaning. But I liked the second part very much, so keep it up!

3. Formatting of a poem. You need not start every letter of the with a capital unless the previous sentence is an exclamatory mark, question mark or full-stop. If it's a comma, colon, semi-colon, the next line will start with a small letter. Just how you write a story, a poem depends on the same rules.

4.

KylaThompson wrote:Fear is nonfiction,

heyhey

I really like your poem It just tastes like fear, i read the first lines and i was like ' That is exactly how it feels to be scared .. ' . You tied the feeling of being scared so nicely into this poem. But one thing that sometimes cut off the flow was that the lines were ended and started in awkward places like when you said :
[It is also something
people can feel]

To me it just looks like you have cut a very good line in half . But that might be just me since i like some weird longer lines . But it would just help the poem and your ideas to flow better if they weren't stopped like this.

Overall good job there .
If an alien came down to Earth and asked me what is fear i would show him the poem and say "This is how it feels to be scared "

- tteele

Hey Kyla! I'm Arc and I'm here to review this!

So, just a quick note, I'm not very good with poetry critiques, but I'll try my best! My first impression after I read this was that I really liked it and the concepts used. I think if was quite a nice theme to use and you wrote it quite well, so well done! I also really like the line, "Fear is non fiction", and I think it was really effective.

Now, onto the main critiques. Firstly, I think that some parts were out of place. To fix this, you can read it out loud, and see if the syllables sound alright and whether you need to add or take anything away from it, as sometimes it didn't sound quite right.

Secondly, I don't like how it's all in one big cluster, and I think you could separate it to make the layout look more interesting, because right now it's quite boring. Also, it's the same sort of idea in the whole poem, which makes it slightly boring, so you could change that by keeping the same sort of theme, but using a different layout?

Also, the big question of whether to use rhyme or not. I think it this piece, it didn't really need to be, and the rhymes that were used were quite sort of obvious, and I could almost guess as I was reading what the next rhyme would be. So perhaps, just use a slightly more interesting vocabulary, or get rid of the rhymes completely? Your choice, anyways.

Well, I hope my review was helpful! PM me with any question or if you'd like something else to be reviewed!

Keep Writing!
-Arc

Here to review Kyla!

My name is Omniyus, and I will be reviewing this fine piece of poetry. (You write a lot of this.) So without further ado, I will start reviewing!

It's one of the ingrediants,
Of how we are made

It commonly comes
Late in the night.

It happens to the
Best of us all

Hello, Ky!

First of all, I must tell you that I'm not a poet myself, so you're free to question this review, lol.. But I can do my best in telling you what I think about your poem, I suppose. I'm also not a native English speaker, so I won't pay much attention to grammar either.

Firstly, fear. As the subject, I too love using it, it is marvelous. It moves people, it petrifies people, it can stop our breath or make us breath faster, hide in everything and evolve from anything. That said, it also must be handled carefully - respectfully, so to say.

Fear makes us scared,
Fear makes us brave.
It's one of the ingrediants,
Of how we are made.
It gets us excited,
As it takes us through life.

It commonly comes
Late in the night.
It's known as horror.
It's known as fright.
It seeks darkness,
It has no light.

We should take risks,
To conquer our fears.
It may be influencial,
Toward our peers.

Fear is nonfiction,
Fear is real.
It is also something
People can feel.
Fear is big,
Fear is small.
It happens to the
Best of us all.

Fear makes us scared,
Fear makes us brave.
It's one of the ingrediants,
Of how we are made.
It gets us excited,
As it takes us through life.

We should take risks,
To conquer our fears.

Fear is big,
Fear is small.
It happens to the
Best of us all.