Howdy ☺
I’m going to review your work! ☺
The first thing I notice is the formatting. Right now it just looks like a couple of sentences. Try formatting it like this?
The past is behind us,
d future is ahead....
live in d present
that's all we have to do,
in other to defeat the obstacle
in Life
Now for the nitty gritty…
The past is behind us,
d future is ahead....
Okay it should be ‘And’ instead of ‘d’. A full stop is necessary rather than an ellipsis. My problem with this is it’s obvious. Obviously the past is behind and the future is ahead. I don’t see the point of this.
live in d present
that's all we have to do,
Okay I suggest some minor changes. Perhaps it could read:
Live in the present
Is all there is to do.
in other to defeat the obstacle
in Life
I think you mean ‘In order to defeat the obstacles in life.’
Honestly I don’t understand this poem, could you perhaps explain it?
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