silented1

the waves erase those footsteps, and the sole indication of the people who passed by are washed off. This is redundant. And the second half is much better. It's more ...

On firework is a dangerous method I've realized. It pretty much works because a TV turns on but the sky is like a tv? So, what would make more sense? ...

I can still remember the muzzle on my face pumping chemical fog that tasted like cool plastic, sweet sterile relief. Bronchodilator, it was called: and I could imagine my little ...

She was a sight to witness. Thunderclaps resounding in her stride, a storm to be reckoned with. Her swiftness trailed by the red cardigan she wore, oddly stained in an ...

I like the shape of this poem. It's fun to read. You run quick with your words and it works well for the feverish ending. Well done. You could cut ...

The most beautiful you experienced; Whose words had captured your heart And trapped you in their golden cage That when you were set free You no longer wanted to leave ...

Loved the beginning two lines so much. It was greatness. They flowed and were joined in idea and connected into the next. Beautifully done. I think some of this is ...

Blood dripping down the wall. good opening, well worded because it's lower in word count than what it could be. You could be more efficient though. Splattered there by who ...

and your fluent harmony. Favorite line. I noticed that a lot of your poem is a refrain that is expanded upon, your idea has five parts, What you're doing, searching(acting ...

Your poem is very cognitive and not totally emotional or poetic. Which is fine, but it's about what you do in school maybe? Either way, your aliteration is rightfully used, ...

We push back water from our eyes, metal up our spines and demand to be lions Best lines in my opinion. smiles can never quite be the laughter Good line. ...

Good ending. Feels better than a worrying poem. I hope the person you're writing about is okay. I like how you made an acrostic with the phrase it's alright. Good ...

Use a metaphor or simile here. Beautiful suffering looks like? Is like? You know, in a way is the best. Then you fill out the details. Coming back and smiling ...

Blue shades of red seems like an idea not a powerful piece of imagery. This first stanza is very abstract. Can you ground it more? It sounds fantastic and is ...

This is a good poem. Your quote at the beginning is so good. It was creepy, so good. Then no one comes near, follows it up, like: Nice! The third ...