Terra

Loved the beginning two lines so much. It was greatness. They flowed and were joined in idea and connected into the next. Beautifully done.

I think some of this is just thoughts that match.

When I'd ascend I'd be returning home,

and before descent I'd pack my bags

full of starlight and mist, sunsets and new snow,

until I got tired of packing.

Now I stay in the sky, there is so much to do

I never wish for the ground.

is kinda superfluous. You could connect and have greater power without it. It makes sense in the story but you could personify the ground or something and connect with that instead.

Hiya abigaileigh! I enjoyed reading this fantastical poem of yours. My first impression is that it seems to be about a winged person or just someone with flying abilities and that it is maybe set in a world different from our own. The mood is an interesting mix of tenderness and nostalgia (even though the speaker isn’t reminiscing on the past or anything). It makes me think that this is a poem about ‘home’ and where that is for the speaker.

I collect carnival balloons, dandelions seeds, and lost kites

This line is one of my favourites! It seems like such a nice and whimsical list of things that someone flying in the sky might encounter.

Here are three questions I had when reading your poem:

1. Does the poem allude or refer to something? Maybe mythology? Or perhaps to ‘heaven’ in one religion or another?

I noticed you tagged the poem as both ‘fantasy’ and ‘spiritual’, so I began to wonder if ‘Terra’ referred to a figure in mythology or religion. I googled it and found ‘tellus mater’, the Roman earth goddess, who doesn’t rule the skies or have wings, so I then guessed that the ‘Terra’ in this poem is an invented figure, hence the line:

My name means earth but I live in the sky,

Correct me if I’m wrong, though!

2. Is the poem more literal or more allegorical?

When I read it, I interpreted this like a narrative poem about a person called Terra. The second half of the poem (starting from “Everyday I wonder why . . .”) felt very different from the first half, like a story divided into two phases. Whereas the first half is filled with imagery which could be metaphorical or allegorical, like “wings” which may not be literal wings or “bags” that may just be an expression for travelling from one place to another, the second half is filled with more direct statements.

Everyday I wonder why
more people don't come live in where the view never ends

This gave me more of a sense that Terra really lives in the sky.

Then again, if people hadn't lived on the earth,
I may not have had to move to the sky

This seems to suggest more of a backstory or a wider setting that the poem is connected to, as though some circumstances on earth ‘force’ Terra to take to the skies if they want to live happily.

3. What’s the main take-away or idea from the poem?

The poem to me seems to read a bit like a short story. That’s not at all to say it isn’t verse-like, for instance:

I used to fly with stars and stripes on my wings,
but I only cared about one of those anyway.
When I'd ascend I'd be returning home,
and before descent I'd pack my bags

Even though there isn’t rhyme or an explicit sound device here, the bolded and underlined pairs of phrases create a repeating pattern, so the poem has rhythm. Both ‘used to’ and ‘cared about’ are a verb + a preposition for instance.

What I mean is the poem feels like it’s meant to be a window into a world, or a day-in-the-life-of for Terra. So I find it similar to a short story written in the fantasy genre.
Another interpretation I think could be that the message of the poem is about home and freedom. Terra feels freest in the skies where she is at home. The place is perfect for her, and at first she wonders why no one else will join her. But then she realises she doesn’t really want others to join her, because then the place wouldn’t be ‘just for her’ anymore, and she can’t have that. I think this shows an interesting aspect of the role of home or places we like in our lives.

That’s all

Hopefully you found these comments helpful. Feel free to ask me anything about what I’ve said here.

Keep writing!
-Lim