reikann

Hello! I think you found the correct audience for this poem, first of all - the emotions expressed by this poem are ones most authors can or have felt themselves ...

First off - this does, indeed, need a description and a title. It's both common courtesy for the reader and better off for the work. I suggest just using your ...

Dude! Your tenses - they're consistent! Congratulations! It's a tangible improvement - relish it. 'shown damned' from the first paragraph - maybe there's a typo there? I have no idea ...

Review comments - Firstly - I'm not sure this is a literary work. It sounds like a topic better suited to the forums or a club or blog - try ...

Hey! First thing I caught - no tense issues in your first paragraph. Granted, this only lasted until Harkyn entered the bakery, but I think it's a good sign nonetheless. ...

Chapter three! Once again, your hand for pain and suffering shines through like a bloody beacon. I like the touch about whitish gums; it proves you've done your research, but ...

The unnamed focus of this story is a human. He is a human with specific aspects to his life, sure - a two hour commute, a mother on the other ...

This sounds like rock lyrics to me. There's a negative, hopeless charge to the words, sure, but also an anger to it. One born of self-loathing, I'm getting the vibe ...

First of all, I would like to applaud you for forcing me to learn something new and look up 'Kudzu'. That's wild. i - Personally, I agree. Bad news first. ...

Ah, another haiku, courtesy of Taha. Don't mind if I do; you write a mean haiku. This poem is, more than anything, sad. Cicadas can be said to 'cry', but ...

To answer the posited question - in my opinion, this works fine as a stand-alone piece. Whether or not it would work as part of a story depends on what ...

Kicking things off! I like the idea of the Quest Board and Obelisk. It makes heroism as a profession make good sense in this setting, and Harkyn's motivation makes sense ...

This makes for a workable prologue. It certainly throws the reader right into the story, which is good. The action from the first line is an effective hook. It is ...

Ah, a good fantasy. This one smells to me of death metal and 80s pulp fiction. Let's hop to it. The premise of this work is interesting from the first ...

Aww, come on! I had been really enjoying this fanfiction before it cut off. It can have a review nonetheless. This work, first and foremost, is fun. From the first ...