nomadpenguin

In the first line, change "you are" to you're to fit with the other times you use the words. Sunshine bathing in your heart is just gorgeous. It confused me ...

The writing was quite good. You used lots of good metaphors. I especially liked the one about "I am the music man". The rhythm was a bit off though. I ...

I'm guessing that this is a haiku that didn't come out formatted correctly. First of all, this isn't in standard haiku form. A strictly traditional haiku should have a seasonal ...

This did not read like a poem. There wasn't half as much imagery/metaphor as there should be. Throuhgout the entire poem, there is only the image of the wall. That ...

This poem seemed a little too straight forward for a poem. The only image I can identify is the black box. You should develop more images in the poem. The ...

Most of the poem's flow was pretty good. It has a slightly musical quality to it. On thing I would change is how you put "was" on a line by ...

Very nice! I really liked the unobtrusive rhyming. Instead of "Risen from this shaky ground" try just saying "Risen from shaky ground". Consider adding punctiation. That way, you can control ...

First off, I'd like to say that I really liked the idea of this poem. All too often, our feelings for people are conflicted and paradoxial. I think you should ...

This poem had a really powerful and dark tone. However, some parts were rather confusing, and some of it came off as a tad pretentious. You use a lot of ...

I really liked how the last line connects to the title of the next part. "Black rose bleeding red" is just great. The only thing I'm questioning is the apostrophe ...

I thought the word choice could have been a little more varied. "So my darling..." and "And...away" were inconsistently repeated, and that gave me a little pause as I was ...

Great poem, really liked the mood. However, I would have put in some commas or something to slow it down.