chrisharley

Ok cool, I liked how you build the story but I felt you needed to make it longer, Enhance the nightmare idea, or add more ideas dreams, nightmares, fears, that ...

It was an interesting concept using birds, but I could not see a strong enough spring connection with your main topic. I read somewhat over simplified descriptions of certain bird ...

ok, I kind of get what your poem is about but I think it should be made as clear as possible without having to explain it too much to the ...

It is unfinished? You must be a really good poet because from what I read it is awesome as it is. Really like your concept and how you kept it ...

This could be formatted a bit better so it can make clear to read. The story you told had nothing to do with Pinocchio why would you assume the reader ...

Ok, The poem could use editing specially in word flow the poem is really long and the schemes you have used are very fast paced not leaving the reader with ...

Okay, good. I think the beginning did not start off as clear as it could have of, but the second part of your poem was really well done. I really ...

What an awesome poem !:) .I liked how you gave beautiful description after description,that was really great. it's a sort of long poem you really showed consistency all the way ...

HOLY SHAMOLY, lol. THAT was an awesome poem. I don't think I can suggest fixing anything. but I am left to wonder how your original poem might have sounded like? ...

It is a bit messy in it's format you could probably easily fix that, just make it neat. I kind of made my own interpretation, but had trouble sticking to ...

I was picturing a brightly lit body and it's contrast used as a poetic metaphor for the crevices and juxtapositions of a state of living and being human. Yet I ...

haha, going for the heart. good poem liked how you took a very relatable Idea and told it in a narrative which allowed the reader to pick up on the ...

I liked that you used imagery, but I think you might have overused it a bit and it started to get confusing. I would suggest you go back and pick ...