Young Writers Society

Hello , this is a very good poem. From the first moment on , I get the impression you're trying to write in Homer's footsteps , in an Ancient Greek tragedy kind of style. This lamenting of Helen is a beautiful piece of work in terms of context as it gives the reader an insight into Helen's feelings and thoughts about what has happened and what -she hopes- will come to pass. It is an interesting description of her emotional state during the final -as I understood- stages of the Trojan War. The words that you choose add up to the emotional tension of the poem and create the needed atmosphere for Helen's regretful monologue. However , throughout the poem I get the feeling you copied and pasted the poem from one text format to another and the alignement (if I am saying it correctly) of the words seems kinda off , like words that should be on one line have ended up in the one below it. Also , while a very good read , it is quite a long poem and in my opinion , tires the reader by the end of the reading. The essence is what makes this poem beautiful but its size takes away from that essence. All in all a nice and mainly interesting poem that has some flaws that keep it back.
Keep writing friend and goodnight !

Hi there!

This caught my eye, Greek myths are always so rich and interesting to write about and Helen is a pretty interesting woman... I've read many monologues and poems with Helen as the narrative but yours is the first where she seems to be pleading for the war to end, there's even a sense of guilt. I like this approach. Some of your references to the Gods flow really nicely in the poem, my favourite being:

"sink to the dark house of Hades" - nice alliteration, its like Hades' snakes are hissing at the reader.

You need to work out your structure and break it into stanzas, its easy to get lost in what you're saying because the pace is so quick. By reading this out loud it will be easy for you to determine where there should be a new stanza.

I also noticed an inconsistency with the length of your lines; try to keep them even and this will help the poem flow smoothly.

Overall I thought this was a good interpretation of Helen facing the consequences of the Tongan war. I suggest proof reading, there was some funny spacing issues.

Keep writing,

~*Annapurna*~

Hey there! I think I may be developing a reputation for being kind of picky about grammar, but AshKitten is better at it than I am, but here we go, grammar nit picking commence!

Okay this poem has a lot of words all smushed together, live Jove!Protect and outerbeauty on the last line, this poem just needs a good proofread and edit. Also, the spacing is a little wacky, I would recommend creating stanzas.

There are some commas where there needs to be periods and periods where there needs to be commas and stuff like that, but I'm not going to point them out individual mistakes, just needs a good proofread.

Other than that this is a really good poem. As a fan of Shakespeare myself, I find this poem very well done, and of course, accurate. Congrats on a good work.

Ok, The poem could use editing specially in word flow the poem is really long and the schemes you have used are very fast paced not leaving the reader with enough time to take in the poetry as fluidly as possible. I see you were referencing something. It could be a shorter poem though. Good poetic moments even though they were a hit and miss at most points. It kinda looks like a draft other than a finished poem going back and fixing things could help.