(This was one of my 5 minutes poems, inspired by the mourning dove outside my window a few days back. This poem just brings a smile to my face and it's a good welcoming in of spring. Hope you enjoy!)
Faces of Flighted Fowls
Mourning dove,
You sing your sorry song at dawn,
Warnings of impending doom
Written within your cries.
Robin,
A cheerful chirper loved by many,
An early bird seeking the worm,
Whose chest boasts of bright red.
Blue jay,
You are a selfish creature,
Only modeling how not to act.
Your behavior is most disgraceful.
Mockingbird,
Who can tell what bird you are?
You shapeshifter, charmer.
You steal hearts with rogue ways.
Chickadee,
Cheering hearts with a happy chirp,
Your bubbly ways brighten each day
As a reminisce of spring.
Raven,
Your harsh caws shatter silence.
A forbidding tone dominates,
A symbol of death.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,732 Reviews
Hey.
Great job.
Yay to the title alliteration.
Talking of birds, is not something people usually write of. These days, they're more involved in sadistic things. Fantasies, etc. etc. and we don't write anything about things we see everyday. You came up with that idea really well.
The way you described the birds was fabu. And I loved the words you chose.
Kudos. Keep writing, stay blessed.
xoxo
Thanks! It came from inspiration anyway. Birds happen to be my favorite part of spring and I just had to get another poem out to the world.
-AJ
I LOVED the alliteration in your title. It was so fun to read, and rolled well off the tongue. While I personally would not normally read a poem about birds, your title sucked me in. And I'm glad that it did, because your poem was pretty good (it brought a smile to my face). It was simple, but what can you expect for have only taken about five minutes to write it. I also liked the alliteration in the line speaking about the robin that said, "cheerful chirper." My advice to you: Keep using that device in your poetry. It's very delightful to read. I know this wasn't a very great review because I didn't actually give much critique. I simply wanted to let you know that I enjoyed your poem. And normally I don't enjoy poems about birds. Good job, and keep writing!
Thank you! I tend to write about simpler stuff, things that make people smile or laugh. In depth, depressingly deep poetry is not always my genre.
-AJ
It was an interesting concept using birds, but I could not see a strong enough spring connection with your main topic. I read somewhat over simplified descriptions of certain bird species but I could not gather the whole meaning of the poem with separate descriptions adding a central topic to your story take spring which I read was your main topic but you didn't really sound as sure in your description of the poem. Adding themes of springs relating to the birds will be really helpful to your poem, I don't know to me it just does not seem finished. Well that is my opinion anyway.
Oh, it's all about birds... Just birds that come around in spring. I'm sorry, it must have seemed like it was supposed to be all about spring. :/
I'll look into making that more clear.
-AJ
Ok
Ok