TheForgottenAuthor

In my opinion, this is way too simplistic. You have a great idea for a song, but it definately needs some work. Try experimenting with word choice. I could give ...

Wow...thats all I have to say...I really liked it! I loved the use of metaphors and the word choice was just fantastic! I loved it! There was a few lines ...

This was well written, I just have a few things to point out :) I am lost - like a child in a grocery store without their mother. Instead of ...

I was actually quite confused. I think the line What divine plan was made for me? What purpose do I serve here? you could have done without, as it changes ...

I have a feeling you're going to hate me after this post: I think the word choice could be improved a little bit. Also, it was a bit repetitive. You ...

This was pretty good...I like this. But my question is... What do "bloody pearls" have to do with this? I mean, the whole "piercing pearls" thing confuses me. This was ...

Ummmmm... Ok, I'm going to be COMPLETELY honest. This poem really doesn't do much for me. It lacks the emotion that makes the reader relate PERSONALLY to the writing. The ...

:shock: Wow! I absolutely loved this! This has such power that it really got the point across to me. And this poem really stood out for me because I have ...

This was cool, but a big red EMO FLAG came up in my head while reading. And I have some critiques here, if you don't mind... The whole Eat this ...

Hmmm, sorry to break it to you, but I really don't like this one! I mean, this could be considered "good", because you used standard conventions well, but I just ...

Hmmm...I agree with Matt. Especially about the last stanza...I don't get where that came from. It sounds more llike you didn't know how to end the poem, so tried to ...

this was pretty good! I only suggest that you use a bit more emotion in this. In my opinion, it seems a bit like you didn't really FEEL this when ...

Hmmm. This was pretty good, and I like the first stanza. But you really need to do some spell-check. And maybe add some stuff here and there. And in the ...

I LOVE the first stanza...that was great. But the last line of the second stanza: Where will we go and hide? doesnt really flow well with the rest of it. ...

You have a really good idea going! But I have to agree with Abbisnail.The problem is the: a) structure b) forced rhymes c) not enough detail! Sure, you've made it ...