1) If I painted a picture
of your heart
it would be so blue
but I would already know that
it would be nothing knew
PC) 'Cause I knew too much
I let you down
and I don't know if I
want to be around
when you crash and fall
C) free bird
fly away now
don't you look back
down you sit down
I'm running away
I'm running away
2)love heals
that's what they told me
I say it steals
nothing owns me
except my love
for you
PC) I made too many mistakes
I've let you down
it's way too late
and I don't know if I want to be around
when you crash and fall
(chorus again)
bridge) blank pages
my wishes are fading
while you play that melody
hold me, hold me
as I watch your perfect goodbye
(chorus again)
Thanks for reading. :)
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140,755 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
I actually think it's a great song. Yes, you do need to watch out for spelling and punctuation. But anyways, it's good. I like the whole theme of the song. Keep it up!
Im gonna stop there. Through the rest of your song, its more of the same. Boring lines, with no... 'meat' on them at all. In a song it has to relate to the person listening to it, as well as get them drawed into the sound of the words, and how the song dance's on the persons... earbuds.
Next time you go about writing a song, make sure you use INTRESTING words and lines, to keep the audiance in-twined with the lyrics.
+ Watch out for punctuation and spelling.
"," ARE FRIENDS!
Nova*:)
In my opinion, this is way too simplistic. You have a great idea for a song, but it definately needs some work.
feel free to PM me if you need other reviews/critiques!
Try experimenting with word choice. I could give you some examples but I think that would be restricting your originality, so try to spice it up a little bit. You have to be original, because this is a common theme in songs. Another thing, a little red 'emo' flag came up while reading this, and I don't know if that's what you're trying to portray. (I hope not)
Well, I'm going to stop picking your song apart now. Just make a few changes and you'll have a great song.