Rainbow!

by nothingface

Published December 14, 2007

The orange streetlamps highlight the rain
as another teenage gay cries in pain,
On the corner where the drunks lie.

They beat him up, they called him names,
he tries to escape this twisted game.
And his heart lies crushed
on the corner where the drunks lie.

Two weeks on- his body is found,
On the corner- on the ground.

The anbulance arrived to take him away,
And the sun came out for the first time today.

So a rainbow spread across the sky.
on the corner- where the drunks lie
his body was buried but his soul was high!
(in the sky)

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
moookau
Review
moookau wrote a review Review · Dec 15, 2007

I really like this one!

But I don't quite understand why "his phone lies crushed"... his cell phone? He was trying to call for help? I'm not sure why it is his phone... Maybe I'm just dense. Anyway, I like the ending. The happy rainbow at the end was really nice. Good job! ^^

User avatar
blacktiger3915
Comment
blacktiger3915 commented Comment · Dec 14, 2007

It was good. Keep up the good work!

TheForgottenAuthor wrote a review Review · Dec 14, 2007

Hmmm. This was pretty good, and I like the first stanza.
But you really need to do some spell-check. And maybe add some stuff here and there. And in the last stanza...you should add a line.
"So a rainbow spread across the sky.
On the corner where the drunks lie
his body was buried but his soul was high."
That would kind of tie the whole thing together.



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