Hannah

Hey there, Lylas! Back from work at last. The first thing I want to say, is you can definitely get a lot of material from ex-boyfriends or current boyfriends. Definitely! ...

Hey, there~ Now, if I am getting this right, I think this is an obvious case of "awesome first line, not sure where to go afterward", right? You got simmer, ...

okay, Pingu. here we are. my second-blue-star-earning review. Jack should thank me for getting you to listen to him without complaining of conspiracy. ;) This is gorgeous and stifled. I ...

Girl, lemme show you the moments of purity in this poem: I write mostly about the times when we're standing in line, and you fidget and whisper to people in ...

This poem is well-worked, deep, and vivid up until "I'd say", and from there nothing is striking until the very last stanza. What I especially like about the parts I ...

A lot a lot of musing and not a lot of reward for the reader. There are quietly beautiful parts, like the last paragraph's beginning, for example. It sets a ...

Hey! Where's a second or third verse? It's not really a chorus if it's not repeated and broken up by verses, and I do agree with niteowl that it's really ...

Eek, is the second stanza about race? Okay, I'mma comment on the material first, because I think your material might need to be tweaked to make this true and powerful. ...

Here again for your second request. Am I right in assuming this is spoken by the same character from the other piece you linked me to? I want to agree ...

Hey again! I want to start by pointing out my very favorite part of this: All crises accumulated gradually in my blood-vessels to have a certain end. I started to ...

Ooh, this has the makings of something moving. It's really rough right now, but in the simpleness, you've stumbled across a couple of really genuine lines. The very last line, ...

Oh my goodness! Welcome to YWS! Seriously, I am so happy you are here. This is the beginning of what will be an awesome and unique piece, I'm sure of ...

Yay, hi again. Have you already edited this since you first posted it? I think you did! I had it up in my tabs and was going to review, but ...

Good, Pingu. If the ending weakens it, take it out. You're smart! There are basically only two points in this poem where I have a problem. The first revolves around ...

Ooh, I don't know quite exactly what's going on at the end, but it could go so many different exciting ways that you get to choose from. I don't know ...