AstrangedbeaR

this is good, although you describe it a little too much. but yeah, chocolate, every one loves it.

I found it slightly bland, nothing struck out for me, and i think you missed a comma on the second paragraph. The question seemed a little out of place, maybe ...

i hope this is rough. no commas or fullstops so i was out of breath while reading it, spelling mistakes and no paragraphing. but, i am guessing this was extremley ...

Nice twist. In the third paragraph you kept mentioning door which seemed a little repetitive, seeing as we know what the boy is touching. Apart from that it's a good ...

lol. i dont know whether the last line was intended to make people laugh, but it made me laugh. anyway, i like this, its good, simple and a good riddle ...

thanks for the comments & critique. really appreciate it. i know i have to re-edit some parts. :)

wow, this is very impressive. good job, and a very different approach :)

i liked this. i mostly like the astmophere of it, it leaves you in a state of confusion and sorrow and the story itself. and you conjure up a dark ...

i liked this. i thought it was really good, i havnt read or crituqed in ages and then i came across yours and i thought it was excellent. keep up ...

i thought that was funny lol. well, it got a giggle from me :)

i didnt really like the middle, felt like it interrupted it for me, apart from that good job.

*baffled* it wernt all that bad, didnt understand it but seeing that is what you were aiming for then yeah...ts pretty good lol. keep up the good work :)

This was good...liked reading it...dunno about the title though :?

all adds up now, kinda relates to the poem in some ways

nice poem. good use or words, i enjoyed reading it. nice flow. havn't got much bad to say about it. keep up the good work, for you are talented lol.