Aard focused on the black door ahead. It was like no other door, its smoothness grand, its glimmer like no other door. There was no architrave present, the door just melded with the wall. Aard flicked back his curls of blond hair, he took a single step which brought him an inch from the blackness.
He placed a single finger onto the film of the door, it rippled like a liquid, sending silvered waves across the surface, Aard had felt nothing like it, a film with so much strength, yet so much softness. He brought his finger away and the silver vanished leaving plain blackness once more.
Aard breathed deeply, his nose curling inwards to try and flick of the sweat on the tip. This was it, something Aard had been waiting for several years. He placed his hand on the door's film. An indent was made sending out ripple shock waves over the entire door, an entire spectrum was created on the door and a pure note rang out from the folding of the ripples.
Aards foot kicked it and smashed the door until it went on the other side of it, a burning sensation ran through his bare feet along with cuts and lesions. A hole had been formed.
"What are you doing?" A surge of footsteps followed a strict voice down the corridor, Aard turned his foot smothered in blood, unable to speak, in shock, who were these people?
"Damaging LCD screens is classed as illegal." The strict voice dictated. "Step away from the computer monitor!"
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141,249 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Well this was quite an interesting little piece right here that managed to surprise me quite a bit with that little twist at the end there with it being an LCD screen. This is super open to interpretation and I personally think that's an awesome thing to have in a super short story like this one is.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well this quite a nice start. It certainly is very curious and makes you interested in what on Earth is going on and that's definitely a great way to be starting a story so good on you with that. Its also a pretty nice description.
This is almost poetic in its imagery and normally I don't like too much imagery like that in a story but for this one I think it works quite well.
That line at the end cracked me up far more than it should have.
Quite a nice little "Uh oh" ending right there. Definitely a neat little twist making us think its some kind of futuristic door only to see that it's just an LCD screen.
Aaand that's it for this one. A pretty short review for a pretty short story.
Overall: Well this was a fun little thing to read that's for sure. It seems to be hiding some kind of fairly deep meaning or it could just be a joke. The ambiguity of this like I said earlier is something that I really like. Your descriptions were great and the whole thing flowed really smoothly. It was a nice break for me to fight this smaller green beast after tackling some monster earlier. It has been a tiring day. (I understand that none of this will ever make any sense to you.)
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thankyou
Nice twist.
In the third paragraph you kept mentioning door which seemed a little repetitive, seeing as we know what the boy is touching. Apart from that it's a good short.
Yes it was a challenge on another forum.
Off
I really thought this was going to be an actually door like a gate to another world or teleporter but it turns out to be something I didn't expect it to be.
This is just a one-off I'm guessing?