Archer

So I'm kind of torn about this piece. The poem itself is alright, I think. It flows fairly well, and as a view inside the mind of a psychopath, it ...

Interesting essay! However, I've always considered science and religion to complement one another quite nicely. In fact, you brought up one of my favorite points: the big bang theory. A ...

Well, I guess I took a complete opposite reading of this poem against Vivian's take! At first I thought that the narrator of the poem was being abused by someone. ...

I really enjoy your first stanza. The rhyme and the meter are both perfect. I think the second stanza is uneven though. The first four lines are actually pretty good, ...

With such a short poem, each word needs to be really carefully chosen. If it doesn't add anything except syntax to the poem, it should probably be removed. For example: ...

I think a mistake a lot of people make about stream of consciousness is that it's completely unfiltered. Far from it. Effective use of the stream of consciousness style is ...

Definitely reminded me of Pokemon as well! I'm guessing this is Pokemon fan-fiction? In all, I like this chapter. It's quite interesting, and I like how you describe entering the ...

So first, I apologize for skipping all the other chapters! But in any case, I agree with Deanie. This is a great chapter. As with the last chapter I read, ...

This chapter to me felt a lot more polished, which is probably because it's a lot more focused. It pauses on each part to allow the reader to digest information, ...

This may have to do with the fact that this is fan-fiction and so you're constrained by the characters that appear in the source material, but if possible, I'd change ...

Your writing style changed a lot between the previous chapter and this one! In the previous chapter, there were a lot of comma splices and run-on sentences. Here, you instead ...

I thought this was generally pretty well done. Grammar wise, there are a lot of comma splices; that is, using a comma to join together two independent clauses. Take this ...

I loved this. Reminds me of Dave Egger's "A Heartbreaking work of Staggering Genius," except that what you wrote is actually good! The vignettes are poignant and meaningful, and really ...

Okay, so this made me smile! Nothing much to really critique in this poem. As you state within the poem itself, this is supposed to more of a stream of ...

Reminded me of Bioshock! I like how you began this short story -- it's very interesting and it grabs the reader's attention immediately. I also particularly enjoyed the use of ...