Okay, so this made me smile!
Nothing much to really critique in this poem. As you state within the poem itself, this is supposed to more of a stream of consciousness type piece with no real rhyme or meter.
But I feel like you're missing a big opportunity here. Right now, this is really just a fluff piece, which is perfectly okay. This is just something for fun, and it's not supposed to be much more than that. Yet, I think you have lots of room to really delve deeper. Rather than simply saying, "You gotta shout out!," instead, tell the reader what's worth shouting out about. Why do you shout out?
In fact, what would be great is if you kept this poem as is, but then added a second from the viewpoint of another person where they shout out about their life. I could easily see this becoming a novel about a bunch of street rough kids who go around shouting out!
Anyhow, I enjoyed this!
Points: 10065
Reviews: 68
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