Chapter 11
The first day of the new school week started rather normally, with the exception of a few students stopping Sherlock in the hallways to ask him about his experience in the Enchanted Forest. Sherlock just turned down their queries with a warm smile before telling them to get to their next class, less they be late and get into trouble from their next classes’ teacher. The young wizard wondered whether Shauna was being bombarded with the same queries as well as he walked up a spiral staircase that led to the classroom he was going to teach in. If she was, he wondered how she was faring, as she did not like to be bombarded by the constant flurry of questions. He would just have to ask her later over lunch whether or not she too was bombarded with a series of questions by over curious students.
Sherlock did not normally teach on a Monday, but today was an exception as he had to cover for Professor Barinn who was attending a week-long conference on the history of the dwarven people. Unlike his first year students who were rather noisy, the seventh year students he was teaching today were the complete opposite. The moment Sherlock had stepped into the class, they had quieted down and readied themselves for class. In all honesty, Sherlock wished he could teach at least one of the classes from the upper years aside from teaching the first years to third years. It was not because he didn’t like teaching the younger students, he did, but he liked teaching the history syllabus for the older
students. Today, Sherlock would be instructing the seventh year students on Napoleon’s invasion of Russia and Napolean’s subsequent defeat in a duel between himself and Tsar Alexander I.
Mos of the students in the class paid attention to every word that poured out of Sherlock’s mouth. There were of course some of them who had zoned out and were in their own little fantasy world. Sherlock didn’t mind his students zoning out, as long as they didn’t interrupt his class. The classroom Sherlock was teaching in today was almost identical to his regular classroom in which he taught his first years in. The only difference was that this classroom contained the portraits Cambroxzen’s early headmasters and headmistresses.
“Now before Tsar Alexander I had ordered the total evacuation of the city of Moscow, he had personally cast a series of proximity blasting curses around the city of Moscow,” lectured the young teacher to the class in a steady voice , “to try to inflict as much casualties on Napoleon’s invading army and to deny the enemy.”
Before he could get into the next part of his teaching material, the school bell rang. There was a sigh of relief from some students, but they were the minority. “Alright, I guess that’s all the time we have for today. Any questions?” asked Sherlock to his class who was packing up their books. A young lady with long orange-red hair, sparkling blue eyes and a choker made of water around her neck raised her hand to ask the young history teacher a question.
“Go ahead Arielle,” said Sherlock to the mermaid student who was from the warm waters of the Pacific Ocean with an inviting smile on his face.
“Mister Tan, what happened to you inside the Enchanted Forrest?” asked the girl who was from clan Staggeron.
“Ya, Mister Tan, what happened?” asked another student.
He knew that something like this would happen. At least the students waited for the end of class before asking. Sherlock chuckled and smiled warmly to his class before speaking. “I meant asking me a question about today’s class.”
“Please Mister Tan, we really want to know what happened. We’re curious,” voiced a girl named Rapunzel who had long flowing blonde hair as well as a spark of curiosity in her eyes. Sherlock had remarked to himself before that her parents must have seen a seer to have so aptly name her after the fairy tale character which she so closely resembled.
“I can’t tell you much,” said Sherlock to the students, but him saying that made all of them inch a little close to him as to not miss anything he will say. “What I can tell you is that Miss Shauna and myself met some mysterious people while we were in the forest.”
“What did those people look like?” asked a young man by the name of Mordecai who was rather scrawny looking and had large round framed glasses.
“Let’s just say that they looked menacing. You won’t want to meet them if you could,” answered Sherlock as vaguely as possible.
“What did they want ?” asked another student who was sitting near the back of the classroom.
That question was were Sherlock drew the line. “I’m sorry, but even I don’t know what they wanted,” answered Sherlock who told a white lie. The classroom let out a sigh of disappointment.
“Anyways, I think you should all be heading off to your next class,” voiced Sherlock to his students. “Lest you want to get into trouble with the professor or teacher of your next class.” Upon hearing what Sherlock had said, the students began to leave for their next class. Some quicker than others. There were some students like Arielle, Rapunzel and Mordecai who thanked him before they left the classroom. As the last student left the class, Sherlock drew his wand and in a single wave of his wand, erased the few notes he had written on the black board.
“So did they bombard you with questions?” asked Shauna who was standing at the entrance to the classroom.
Sherlock chuckled before answering her. “Of course they did. It would be weird if they didn’t. I was actually going to ask you the same question.”
“Of course they did. It was...irritating to say the least,” answered Shauna who was sitting on a desk directly in front of Sherlock’s elevated teaching stand. “Had to put a silencing spell on one who was getting on my nerves. As if he didn’t already get on my nerves on a regular basis.”
“You know we aren’t technically allowed to jinx or hex students,right?” expressed Sherlock to his longtime friend.
“I know, I know,” replied Shauna, “but he was extremely annoying. He couldn’t stop talking. I tell you, some of the kids were relieved when I did place a silencing spell on him.”
“You remembered to undo the spell, right?” asked Sherlock.
“Yes I did,” replied Shauna. “Though I think I shouldn’t have. I bet all the other professors and teachers would be glad that he couldn’t speak for the day.”
Sherlock let out a laugh upon hearing what his friend said. “Touche, touche. Anyways, let’s continue this over some biscuits and tea in the lounge. I’m feeling slightly peckish.”
“I could use some tea,” Shauna said as she got off the desk she was sitting on and made her way to the classroom’s exit with Sherlock.
Christopher and Russell had arrived in Cambroxzen in the middle of the school day. Their arrival and presence on the academy’s grounds was hardly noticed by anyone as almost the entire student body and their teachers were in class for the day. The two artefact agents upon arriving at the academy had immediately made their way to the headmaster’s office, which was located at the highest floor of Cambroxzen.
“Thank you for coming over so quickly,” said headmaster Ramsay Eden to both Christopher and Russell who was seated in front of him. “Can I get you two gentlemen some tea or something to drink?”
“Tea would be just fine for me,” answered Christopher to Eden’s query.
“And for you Mister Luther?” asked Eden to Christopher’s partner.
“Tea would be fine for me too.”
“Very good, very good,” said Eden as he picked up his wand before conjuring a beautifully decorated tea pot with three tea cups. Eden waved his wand over the recently conjured tea pot which enchanted it. The tea pot then hovered in the air before it began pouring hot tea into the three cups that were conjured by Cambroxzen’s head master.
“So tell me, is it true?” There are Dread Bringers currently here on the island? And they’re searching for the Gem of Immortality?” asked Christopher as he picked up his tea cup.
“Y-yes,” replied Eden solemnly as he picked up his own tea cup.
“How sure are you?” asked Russell after he had taken a sip out of his cup of tea.
“Well the descriptions given by the individuals who came into contact with them matches the description on what the Dread Bringers looked like from over twenty years ago,” answered Eden before taking a sip out of his cup of tea. The Dread Bringers were a plague on the world and all its inhabitants two decades ago in the past. As such, their atrocities were written out of history. As such,anyone who were too young or not even born at the time where they ran rampant would not know about their existence.
This search for the Gem by these supposed Dread Bringers is too much of a coincidence with the theft of the chalice from Eragash. It has to be related in some way, thought Christopher to himself as he took a sip out of his cup of tea.
“If you don’t mind me by asking? Who are the individuals that encountered these supposed ‘Dread Bringers’?” asked Christopher as he placed his tea cup down on Eden’s desk.
“It was two of the academy’s teacher’s that came across them,” answered Eden.
“What are their names? We have to ask them some questions on their encounter,” said Russell who leaned back into the chair he was sitting on.
“Sherlock Tan and Shauna Li. Those are the ones you want,” answered Eden. “You could probably find them now in either the teacher’s lounge or the office at this time of day.”
“Then we better be off then before we miss them,” Christopher said as he got up from the chair he was sitting on. Russell followed suit. “Thank you for your time and information headmaster.”
“The pleasure has been all mine gentlemen,” said Eden to the two artefact recovery agents before they made their way out of his office and to the lift that will take them back to lower level of Cambroxzen.
“So how has the day been for both of you so far?” asked Botanology teacher Nigel Oakcrest with a British accent to Sherlock and Shauna who was a contemporary of his. He was an average looking you man who had neat brown hair that was parted to the left.
“What do you think happened?” We got bombarded by questions after questions,” answered Shauna who was exasperated. “I had to hex one student who was getting on my nerves.”
“You hexed a student?” asked Nigel in a hushed tone as he arched his right eyebrow upwards.
“Yes I did,” replied Shauna as she nodded her head, not trying to hide the fact that she hexed a student. She then took a sip out of her cup of tea that was in front of her.
“You could get into trouble if the student’s parents make a report to the headmaster,” commented Nigel to the junior Beastkeeper of Cambroxzen who was also the teacher for Beastkeeping for Beginners. “And you know how much of a people pleaser this new headmaster is.”
Sherlock just leaned back into his chair and listened to the conversation between Nigel and Shauna as he took a sip out of his cup of tea. He liked these little moments that he could have with his friends and colleagues between classes. It relaxed him.
“I actually support her hexing her student,” remarked Alrick who had joined Sherlock, Shauna and Nigel. “I’ve hexed a few of my students for disobeying the rules I have laid out for my class.”
“I’ve never had to discipline any of my students by hexing them to date,” said Nigel upon hearing what Alrick had said.
“What do you do when your students disobeys you or annoy you?” queried Shauna.
“Well...I haven’t reached the point where I had to actually discipline a student as severely as jinxing or hexing them,” answered Nigel. “The most I have done is to take away points from a student’s clan or to make them stay back to clean up the class.”
Alrick let out a brief chuckle. “I know why no student of yours disobeys or annoys you Nigel,” remarked Alrick. “They probably don’t want to stay back to clean up the horse or unicorn manure or whatever awful smelling manure you use for class.”
Sherlock, Shauna and Nigeland the res let out a loud burst of laughter. “You could be quite right,” Nigel said between laugh. “So how do you discipline your students, Sherlock?”
“To be honest, most of the students I teach don’t misbehave,” answered Sherlock before he took a sip out of his cup of tea.
“That’s because those who would make trouble are fast asleep due to your long lectures, aren’t they?” remarked Shauna as he playfully nudged her elbow against Sherlock.
Sherlock laughed. “Quite right, quite right. The ones that do actually stay awake are there to learn and to gain knowledge.”
Alrick looked around the table and the interactions going on around him. He was a part of it. He didn’t feel like an outsider, an outcast. Alrick pondered, What if I told them here and here that I was the one that lead those people onto the academy’s ground? Will they still accept me? Or will they throw me into the cells of Azrhazes to rot? As Alrick pondered and delved into his own inner thoughts, a somber look formed on his face.
“Is something the matter Alrick?” asked Sherlock who had noticed the change in Alrick’s facial expression.
“I-its nothing. I was just thinking about my family and how much I miss them,” answered Alrick, not giving the truth as to what was actually troubling him.
Sherlock smiled. “I bet your family misses you as much as you miss them.” Alrick offered a weak smile in response to Sherlock’s reassuring words.
The large wooden oak door to the lounge opened. In came two men dressed in fine tailored made black suits who wore long flowing black trench coats over them. The two men closed the large wooden door behind them upon entering the lounge. The few occupants in the room at that time turned their attention on to the two new people that had entered the room. The two men scanned the room before making their way over to where Sherlock and the rest of his friends and colleagues were sitting at.
Alrick’s heart raced as the two men in suits neared the table. They looked very much like special enforcement agents from the Ministry of Justice & Law Enforcement. Has his complicity in allowing Silenus and his associates been discovered? Keep calm Alrick, keep calm, said the young potions teacher to himself. A lump formed in his throat.
“Mister Hart! What an unexpected surprise. I didn’t think you would be the one that the Ministry would be sending over, let alone so soon,” remarked Sherlock to one of the men in suits as he stood up from his chair. “You remember Mr. Hart, don’t you Shauna?” The young beastkeeper nodded and smiled slightly at the veteran artefact recovery agent.
Sherlock knows these people? Maybe these people are not here to arrest me after all, said Alrick to himself as he remained speechless and avoided direct eye contact with the two men. Just keep calm Alrick and you’ll get through this. The young potions teacher sat still, and just listened to the conversation between Sherlock and this Mister Hart.
“Well your headmaster wrote to me directly for assistance actually. He and my father go back quite a bit. So he’s requesting for my help. Directly,” answered Hart to the young history teacher. “And if what he wrote in his letter is indeed true, then our swift response is needed.”
“I see, I see. I didn’t know our headmaster had pull in government,” remarked Sherlock as he stroked his chin. “Anyways, I’m assuming you need something for me?”
“Quite right,” replied Christopher. “We need some information on what you and your friend, Miss Li encountered in the forest.”
“Of course, whatever you need. Ask away, we’re both more than happy to help you. Aren’t we Shauna?” Sherlock said.
“Of course, anything if you get to nail those people we found in the forest,” said Shauna, not masking her disdain for the two individuals she and Sherlock dueled in the Enchanted Forest.
“Maybe we could go somewhere else? Somewhere more private to continue this conversation?” suggested Russell to Sherlock as he looked around the lounge to see that pretty much all eyes were on them.
“Where are my manners? This is my partner, Russell Luther,” said Christopher, introducing his partner to Sherlock.
“Pleasure to meet you sir,” said Sherlock as he reached out his hand to shake Russell’s hand.
“Likewise,” replied Russell as he firmly shook Sherlock’s hand.
“So do you have any place more private we could go to?” asked Christopher.
“We could go to my room. If that’s fine with you all of course,” suggested Sherlock to the experienced artefact recovery agent.
“That will do fine,” replied Christopher, “lead the way.” Sherlock and Shauna thanked Nigel and Alrick for their company and proceeded to leave the lounge with the two artefact recovery agent following the two young teachers closely behind. As soon as the four had exited the room, Alrick let out a huge sigh of relief which caught the attention of Nigel.
“Everything alright Alrick?” asked Nigel curiously.
“Yes, I’m fine,” replied Alrick. “I’m sorry Nigel, but I’ll be leaving too. I have some preparations to do for my classes tomorrow.” With that Alrick got up from his chair and hastily made his way to the lounge’s exit, leaving Nigel alone.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Man, tigeraye is on point! I'll try to help you out as well~
Okeydoke... First of all, there's some information that you repeat over and over again in almost every chapter. At this point, the readers know. You've probably said it too much by now, and you probably shouldn't mention these bits of information. These include:
- Christopher is a veteran/experienced artefact recovery agent
-The headmaster's office is on the highest floor of the school
There are probably more, but those are the ones I can think of right off.
Again, we have characters that I'm not sure we need. The students named after fairy tale characters made my eyes roll. Plus I'm aware we're most likely never going to see them again, so the descriptions I'm forced to read through just bore me. I'm also doubtful that I'll ever see Nigel again.
I'm also getting tired of reading through a boring, unnecessary first half of a chapter that's just about Sherlock's teaching life to get to the events that are actually important to plot. You could probably cut more than half of this.
Finally, you repeat bombarded three times in the first paragraph alone. I caught it one more time within the chapter as a whole. You can't do that. Bombarded is too memorable of a word. Come up with something else. Pelted with questions. Overwhelmed, overcome... I could keep going. At the very least look up synonyms online.
Things are getting pretty serious now. I feel sorry for poor Alrick who's so nervous and paranoid. Why shouldn't he be?
Let me know when you add another chapter, I'd be happy to review it!
Megs~
hello again! If my reviews are bad and I'm bothering you with them, just tell me and I'll go away x_x Otherwise, let's take a look at this chapter.
Alright, we left off with Chris Hart and his friend heading towards the academy. Its Monday morning, and Sherlock is headed off towards class, wondering if Shauna was being bombarded with questions about the forest. This is very wordy, the gist of this could probably be written in just a few quick sentences. Plus, since you said Sherlock was only getting a few questions, I'm not sure why you'd switch to "bombarding" a few moments later.
ah, so the young teacher is filling in for someone else. It's pretty straightforward, but some things about this section:
Personally, I'd change the second use of "class" to "the lecture", or whatever Sherlock plans to do. We know he's readying himself for class, but we don' know yet what he's doing for their class. Is he just handing out a worksheet, or is he teaching, or what is going on in that class the day? You have an opportunity here to grab us in further that you're missing out on.
I think you forgot to finish the sentence at the end or something.
ah, no you didn't. You just put a line break for...one reason or another. Looks awkward. So now we know what he's doing, but a little "preview" would be cool to see what's ahead, as mentioned before. But who is Napolean? You spell his name right, then you spell it wrong, heheh.
Most**
Right, well, I think you could probably combine the first two sentences here into one for less wordy writing.
Sure you know your characters better than I do, so I won't be super picky here, but Sherlock struck me as the kind of character who definitely would care about that sort of thing. Guess you disagree with that, hahah, he just struck me as more uptight.
Ooh, are we going to learn more about the academy's history? Because I'd be far more interested in reading about the academy or made up country's history than a battle that actually happened.
I'll just presume this actually happened, not very versed in history besides US presidential history, heheheh.
So, was there an unclear time lapse here, or are classes just thirty seconds long?
You missed a quotation mark at the beginning of this sentence. Also, I think I touched on this a ton in my last review, but be more creative than a bunch of "who was". Also, class is more than one person, so use "were" instead of "was" packing up their books.
Oh, a mermaid in the classroom. That's...interesting.
The clan Staggeron? Don't remember reading that before. But here we go with the Enchanted Forrest questions again..
Oh, so Rapunzel signed up for wizard classes, I see.
Yeah, so I guess there was a time lapse, and the class wasn't just really short.
Miss Shauna, heheh. It's weird to me how those two teach under their first names, but all the other professors I believe use surnames? Then again, I remember Sherlock being called Mr. Tan a few times..........
That's actually really funny.
ah, back to Chris Hart and Russell. Just a small nitpick though; you spelled Russell's name with two ls in this chapter, but one l in the last chapter. Hard to notice unless you pay close attention, but still a thing.
Chris Hart and Headmaster Eden in the same scene? wow, this is bound to be interesting!
ah, Russell/Russel not afraid to be poisoned? I thought he was skeptical in the last chapter. I hope he's not trying to kill them though, but he does have his own agenda, heheh.
I thought Sherlock was the one sent to the forest by Hart in the first place? That was all the way back in chapter one, so maybe I'm just getting the details confused, heheh.
Oh...Alrick is here...and instead of working for the bad guys, he's a teacher now. he's a really intriguing, but confusing character x_x
I didn't point it out the first time you did it, but make sure you remember to italicize inner thoughts. I believe if you copy and paste from Word, it doesn't go through, so you have to do it again in the site editor.
Very precarious ending scene with Alrick on the ropes, caught between Chris Hart, Russell and Sherlock. I find myself very intrigued by the plot and characters, especially Sherlock, Eden, Hart and Silentus (who was MIA in this chapter, hm, very mysterious). Look forward to whenever you get the next part uploaded ^^