Marthan and his opponent bowed in respect to one another before starting. Marthan faced the three sets of stone columns he was assigned to move and raised his right hand. As soon as he raised his hand, a green aura formed around his body which caused the same effect to take place on the smallest stone column. He pushed forward his arm, which in turn caused the stone column to move forward. Marthan’s opponent had managed to accomplish the same feat and finished only a second later than him.
Marthan and his opponent went on to try and push the second stone column. Unlike the first time, Marthan took a slightly longer to push back the column. Eventually however, he managed to push back the column pass K’vorg. His opponent like before, finished a few seconds behind him. Marthan was impressed by opponent’s display. He noted that his opponent’s control of his chi was almost on par with his.
The third and last column was huge and stood higher than K’vorg. Moving that won’t be easy, but not impossible thought Marthan to himself to move it. Instead of using only one arm like last time, Marthan used both of his arms this time. His opponent followed suit. Although the two were channeling more of their chi, the colossal stone column in front of them did not waver. It only glowed blue and yellow respectively.
The room which was silent earlier on became filled with the voices of initiates cheering both Marthan and his opponent on. Shayla, Kiaan, and Jinn cheered loudly. He could hear their voices of encouragement over the voices of the other initiates. Marthan looked over to his master for some reassurance or some form of unspoken encouragement. Master Zhong-xin nodded his head slowly upon seeing his young apprentice looking at him. The young initiate took a deep breath and pulled back both of his arms. Marthan let his chi build up, which caused the green aura surrounding his body to glow brighter and intensify. He finally pushed both his arms forward after collecting enough of his chi. The green aura surrounding the column intensified, causing the stone column to begin moving back. K’Vorg’s brow arched upward upon seeing Marthan’s stone column moving back. The stone column moved slowly, inching its way towards passing K’Vorg. Marthan glanced over to his opponent briefly to see that he was still trying, but to no avail.
“We have a winner!” announced K’Vorg as soon as Marthan’s stone column passed his large frame, his voice drowning out the cheers of the initiates. Marthan smiled to himself upon being declared the winner. He looked towards Master Zhong-xin who gave a nod of approval to him. Marthan went over to his opponent and bowed his head in respect to him, in which his opponent did the same. The two then made their way back to their fellow initiates.
“That was amazing!” congratulated Shayla as soon as Marthan had returned to their side. Both Kiaan and Jinn also congratulated Marthan on his accomplishment.
“To be honest, I didn’t think I could move the last column.”
“But you did move the column against all odds, which is amazing!” opined Jinn. Both Shayla and Kiaan nodded in agreement with Jinn. Marthan smiled upon hearing his friends.
“I can do what you did in half the time and with half the chi needed,” scoffed a voice that came from behind the group. Marthan along with his friends turned to see who had said that. The person they saw standing behind them was a human male who wore the exact same robes they wore. He had platinum blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. Marthan also made note of an interesting looking birthmark that he had on his right hand.
“What did you say?” asked Shayla who had a look of disapproval etched on her face.
“I can do what your friend did in half the time and with half the chi needed,” he repeated cockily.
“And what makes you think so?” challenged Kiaan.
“Because I graduated at the top of my class while at the academy,” he replied, a smug look plastered on his face.
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Jinn remarked to the man.
The man laughed. “We’ll see about that,” he said before walking off.
“Hey! Come back here!” insisted Shayla who tried to go after the man. She was stopped however by Marthan who placed his hand on her shoulder, holding her back.
“There’s no point arguing with him. Let him go.” Shayla relented upon hearing Marthan’s words.
The group’s attention soon turned away from the man they had just encountered to K’Vorg who began to call up the next pair of contestants. Kiaan was next to be called up. Marthan, Shayla, and Jinn wished the Kift initiate good luck and all the best. Kiaan was competent in the use of his chi. He and his opponent were neck in neck until they reached the last stone column. Even though he was competent in the use of his chi, Kiaan could not move the last column. His opponent could not move it as well, but nonetheless won the match as he had beaten Kiaan in moving the second column by a mere second.
Although he lost, Kiaan returned to the group smiling. Marthan, Shayla, and Jinn congratulated their friend on his effort even though he had not managed to beat his opponent. The next member of the group to be called up was Shayla. Marthan could see the look of nervousness and apprehension etched on her face.
“You can do it Shayla, and don’t worry, we’ll be cheering you all the way,” assured Marthan. Kiaan and Jinn both nodded their head in agreement and gave their own words of encouragement to her.
Shayla smiled. “Thanks guys. I’ll definitely try my best.”
End of chapter
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Greetings from The Swordsman!
I like how you used an old notion, that of chi from the Chinese, and gave it a new spin. Though the idea of chi being given physical form. Overall, having come in the middle of a chapter and story blind, I liked how this one turned out. It showed that while this main character, Marthan, has a great deal of power and strength, he is still in need of training to fulfill his potential.
This new character, the one that has yet to be named, is a good way of introducing a future antagonist. The small cameos, if you will, allow for a slow build up against the antagonist which makes us both hate and invest in the character. We start to plan what he might do in our minds, in fact he could even be a really good fall guy for the true villain. We can invest so much in this arrogant jerk being the villain, that all the clues point to him and then reveal that he is just a scapegoat could be a huge plot twist. Food for thought.
I really liked this piece, despite coming in half way through, I thought that it has a certain charm to it that could get people quickly hooked on finishing the story. Thank you for sharing and I hope to see more from you.
Happy Writing!
Hi, yizhongt! Mage here to review this story!
So let's get to it, shall we?
I keep on loving this story~ The cocky initiate introduced this chapter is a possible antagonist, but I'll have to wait to see what you do with his character. For now, the best I can do is review.
This is a run-on sentence. I would suggest changing it to something along the lines of, "As soon as he raised his hand, a green aura formed around his body. This caused the same effect to take place on the smallest stone column."
I had trouble understanding this sentence. I may have given you this advice for writing thoughts before, but I'll put it in this review in case I didn't. You can either use quotation marks, italics, or both. It's just important to make it obvious to the reader that the character is thinking. Also, unless Marthan has another consciousness, you don't need to put, "thought Marthan to himself."
I liked how you made Kiaan lose. Not because I hate Kiaan or doubt his skill, but it seems unlikely that everyone in their group will win their match. I'm hoping Shayla will win her match - she seems to need a boost of confidence.
Keep up the great work - which I doubt you'll have trouble with - and good luck on your writing endeavors! Have a great day/night!
Thanks for the review! Greatly appreciate it. If you have the time, could you please review Part III? I just uploaded it.
Thanks in advance!
You're welcome!

Sure thing! I'll do it as soon as I can!