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Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

Zuzu the clown’s origin story

by vampricone6783


*He is from my story “31 horrific Halloween tales” and is the husband of Zeze the clown. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Read “Zeze the clown’s origin story” before reading this. With that being said, enjoy!*

Introduction

It’s hard being the “stick in the mud” in a relationship (Most commonly a romantic one) . You only care about the other person. You’re just trying to help them.

This is the case with Andrea and Carter. Andrea was too free-spirited for this world. Carter feared for her life. He didn’t want anything to happen to her.

Yet he still did things to make her happy. He loved her, after all.

This is the story of Carter. How he wished his wife would have listened to him more. How he could have done more.

This is his story.

Chapter One

1945-ANDREA GOES OUT

My wife Andrea hadn’t seen Alessia in forever, yet here she was, going out to eat with her as I watch TV alone.

I never really liked Alessia. She always insulted my wife, even when we were just teens, and she had this smirk on her face like she was better than us. She acted like she was better than everyone. I couldn’t help but feel like she asked to see my wife for rotten reasons.

But I let her go out anyway. Alessia was Andrea’s friend, after all. I wouldn’t stop her from seeing her friend.

I sigh. Hopefully my worries are just that, worries.



Chapter Two

The silence is overwhelming. The noise the TV makes is nothing compared to when Andrea is speaking to me.

How much time has passed? It feels like an eternity.

I turn the TV off.

It doesn’t feel right.

Chapter Three

I hear the door creak open.

It’s Andrea.

I turn the TV back on.

I don’t want her to worry about me.



Chapter Four

LATE INTO THE NIGHT-LYING DOWN

When Andrea arrived, she showed me this flyer advertising “Leonardo’s fantastical theater troupe”. Apparently she wanted us to perform there. Apparently it would be fun.

It’s not exactly what I want to do. I don’t to dress up in front of strangers and put on a different face. Maybe Andrea could do it, but I can’t.

She won’t do it if I won’t do it.

So we’re not doing it.

Yet, she seemed so excited about it.

Maybe I should reconsider-

No. I made my choice and that’s final.

Chapter Five

THE NEXT DAY-BREAKFAST

“Honey, about that theater troupe-“

“You’re not trying to convince me again, are you?”

Huh. Andrea’s trying to talk me into the theater troupe.

I take a bite out of my egg sandwich. I glance at the window. I should have known she would talk about this during breakfast. She doesn’t know when to quit.

“I might be.” She says, a smug look on her face.

Well, what the heck? Maybe I should give it a try.

“Huh. Well..okay.”

She almost drops her fork, but she catches the utensil before it can actually fall.

“You’ll do it?”

“Yes. I will. I’ll do it.” I say.

She better stop asking me or else I’ll change my mind.



Chapter Six



AT THE ENTRANCE OF THE THEATER

I was driving Andrea to the theater. Now we’ve made it.

Honestly I’m not really sure about this, but a deal is a deal.

Chapter Seven

A FEW DAYS LATER

Me and Andrea have always had this gift (well, I kind of learned from Andrea) on entertaining children. When you have nothing to do you do about anything. Even babysitting the kids in your neighborhood.

So, we’re clowns. Zeze (Andrea) and Zuzu (me) are our names. I didn’t know clowns could be in a theater troupe. I thought they could only be in circuses and carnivals. That kind of stuff.

But I was wrong.



Chapter Eight

IN CARTER AND ANDREA’S LIVING ROOM

“Andrea, are you alright? Your face has been looking pale lately..”

“I..I’m fine!”

“Are you su-“

“Carter, yes! Stop worrying about me!”

“I just-okay.“

Chapter Nine

AT THE BATHROOM

We’ve been performing nonstop. We rarely ever get any sleep at night. Too much energy.

I’m staring at myself in the bathroom mirror.

Thick, crusty lines of sleep surround my eyes. I’ve tried to take it off to no avail.

And Andrea won’t listen to me when I try and talk to her.

The kids are alright, I suppose. They’re kids, what else am I to except?

Everything is fine.

I think.



Chapter Ten

AT THEIR BEDROOM

She should be sleeping soundly, like she always does.

But Andrea is moving restlessly, as if her life depends on it.

It’s making me nervous..

Chapter Eleven

A FEW DAYS LATER

The children seem to like Andrea more than me when we’re in costume. That’s fine. It’s not like I care or anything.

Except for this one young girl who seems like she’s about to tell Andrea her whole life story before being pulled away by her Mom.

Andrea is worried for her. She tells me she doesn’t know what’s going on with the kid.

I am too, but her Mom is doing the best. I don’t think we need to worry.

I’m sure of it.



Chapter Twelve

BACK AT HOME

“There was this girl who went up to me and-“

“I know. I saw. Don’t worry about it. Kids are weird. That’s just the nature of them.”

“She looked like she needed help-“

“I’m sure she’s fine.”

“Is she?”

I hold Andrea close and give her a kiss on the head.

“It’s not your job to worry about her.”

Goodness, why does she worry?

Chapter Thirteen

BATHROOM MIRROR

I stare at myself on the bathroom mirror. My cheeks look even more sunken than before and my eyes are just so..glassy. So..dead.

Andrea looks that way too, but she never notices. Me? I keep track of my deteriorating face, a result from faking a sm-

No. I should calm down. This is just something fun to do with Andrea. Who cares if we’re losing sleep? It’s all in the name of fun-

“Carter, get to bed!” Andrea yells out from our bedroom.

I turn away from the mirror and walk to our room.

I should just sleep. I shouldn’t worry, I worry too much anyway.

Just sleep…

 

Chapter Fourteen

THE NEXT MORNING

I’m looking for my costume in our drawers and-

Huh.

All.of.our.clothes.are.bright.

They’re blinding my eyes.

I’ve even spotted a suit that’s…pink?  Wasn’t it black?

“Andrea! Come here.”

She walks into the room.

“What happened to our clothes?“ I ask her.

She smiles. How is she smiling at a time like this?

“Oh honey, I replaced all our other clothes and bought new ones the other night.”

“What?  Why?”

“To bring more sunshine into our lives.”

“Don’t we have enough sunshine in our lives with the children?”

“Aw come on, Carter! Lighten up a little.”

“I’ve heard you say that one too many times.”

Andrea just walks up to me and gives me a kiss on a cheek.

Then she leaves.

First the clown thing, now this?

What’s next, filling our room with toys?



Chapter Fifteen

AT THE THEATER

Why is that actress looking at me? Does she like me or something? Doesn’t she know I’m taken?

She’s apart of the main theater troupe. The ones that perform at night, in the actual theater. The ones who get respect. The real ones.

I don’t know any of their names. Neither does Andrea. I don’t speak with any of them.

So why is this woman looking at me?

If she’s looking at me, I’m confronting her. She can’t just stare at me like that. She just can’t.



Chapter Sixteen

“What’s your problem?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were staring at me a moment ago. Why?”

“I wasn’t staring at you.”

“Yes you were.”

She walks away from me.

What’s with her?



Chapter Seventeen

The woman had no reason to stare at me.

None at all.

So why’d she do it?

Chapter Eighteen

I know I’ve told Andrea not to speak to the girl, but I’m starting to wonder myself what is up with her.

Maybe I can talk to the girl for a bit. I don’t need to worry about the woman. She was probably just being nosy.

I wouldn’t be worrying about a strange woman staring at me if it weren’t for Andre-

No. We’re doing this for fun. There’s no need to complain.



Chapter Nineteen

I walk up to the child. Andrea went to the backroom. It’s just me and the girl.

I crouch down to her level.

“So, how are you?”

“I’m..fine, I guess.”

“Anything interesting to talk about?”

“Not really.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, there is one thing.”

“Yes?”

“A friend of mine. She’s not very nice to me. I don’t know what to do.”

This friend sounds like Alessia.

“Why are you still friends?”

The girl’s eyes dart around. Why did she ask? She looks uncomfortable.

“That will be enough.” Her Mom says, pulling her away.

Huh.

Strange.



Chapter Twenty

TIME LATER

We’re walking back to our car after a day of work. I haven’t told Andrea about the actress or what the girl said. I shouldn’t even worry about it, yet I feel like I shouldn’t say anything.

“Hello.”

“Alessia. Hi.”

We turn around to face her, even though I already know who she is.

It’s Alessia. Andrea’s friend. She followed us.

“Yes?”

“Do you know what it’s like to be beautiful, like me?”

What kind of a question is that?   Is she calling her ugly?  There was no way I’d let her talk to my wife like that.

“Don’t talk to her that wa-“

“It’s hard to tell when people are genuine. When people want to love you. Most only love you for your looks.”

She’s talking about people and looks?

“The men..they never stayed. They didn’t love me. They..they found someone else. But you..”

What is she rambling about? Men, looks, beauty. It all sounds ridiculous.

I try pulling Andrea into the car, but she won’t move.

“You have someone who will love you. Despite everything, he loves you. You two will do anything together. And you think that you have the right to complain! “Oh,I can’t find anywhere to live” ,”Oh,I need help” “Oh, help me.” “

She’s crying now? She needs to get a grip.

“You..have..everything. Real love. You are the lucky one. Everyone wants to have someone beautiful. Someone nice to look at. Someone who has no feelings. But everyone has feelings. Including me.”

She’s crying even harder now. If we stay any longer, she might ask us of something. We can’t give her anything. We barely have anything ourselves. This excuse of a town, Maven Hills, is the first place we stayed in.

We have to leave.

I try pulling her back into the car again, but she just won’t move.

“Andrea, let’s go. Now.”

The crying stops.

“I made my decision. It was one I didn’t want to do,one that has haunted me for days. But it is the only thing I can do.”

I’m trying so hard to get us in the car. Nothing works.

“I have to kill you. Both.”

She’s going to kill us?

“What?”

Andrea’s shocked. Of course she is.

But I’m not. I knew something wasn’t right with Alessia ever since she asked to hang out with Andrea.

“Alessia, what do you me-“

Before Andrea can even finish her sentence, she shoots us.

I can’t believe I’m actually dying right now.

This is the end.

This is the end..



Epilogue



YEARS AFTER THEIR DEATHS

We’re dead now. We haunt our old house.

We don’t go by Carter and Andrea anymore either. We use the names Zeze and Zuzu now. It’s like our human selves died that night.

No, not like. They did.

Zeze killed Alessia. I watched.

She’s always mentioned wanting children of her own, but how is that possible?  We’re ghosts.

I think that woman who was staring at me was only judging me. We’ve been judged before. That’s why we moved from place to place.

As a young married couple who wanted to live their best life, people didn’t take us seriously. Pretty fitting for us to be clowns, hm?

We won’t have to move anymore, because we’re stuck here.

Stuck in Maven Hills.

“Our” town.




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235 Reviews

Points: 6841
Reviews: 235

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Fri Feb 10, 2023 7:54 pm
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4revgreen wrote a review...



Hi again!



It’s hard being the “stick in the mud” in a relationship (Most commonly a romantic one) . You only care about the other person. You’re just trying to help them.

This is the case with Andrea and Carter. Andrea was too free-spirited for this world. Carter feared for her life. He didn’t want anything to happen to her.

Yet he still did things to make her happy. He loved her, after all.

This is the story of Carter. How he wished his wife would have listened to him more. How he could have done more.

This is his story.


I really like this introduction. It's written in a very distinct and clear way that really sets up the story for the reader.

I like how you set up Andrea and Carter's life together before they turned into Zeze and Zuzu. The conflict between their personalities is shown well through Andrea joining the troupe and Carter not feeling comfortable with this. The theme of love and sacrifice is also shown through your characters nicely, as Carter gives up his own preferences and comfort to do something that makes Andrea happy. This is further emphasized in the scene where he worries about Andrea's health and well-being despite her dismissive attitude. But then of course, it all goes wrong and Andrea should have listened to him from the beginning!

You should definitely try making your writing more clear and concise in terms of structure. You have lots of short sentences and paragraphs that disrupt the flow of the narrative and take away from the story a little. But overall, a nice story!




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5 Reviews

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Reviews: 5

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Fri Feb 10, 2023 7:48 pm
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resting wrote a review...



This story is interesting but it is written in an abrupt, short way. All of your paragraphs seem to be only a few sentences in length, some just being one sentence or a word. This was jarring to read as there is so much to take in at once. You could benefit from writing in paragraphs with more description.

The plot of your origin story was interesting and original, and quite spooky because I hate clowns and the thought of a killer clown terrifies me.

I liked the conflict between Carter and Andrea in the story.





Edna began to feel like one who awakens gradually out of a dream, a delicious, grotesque, impossible dream, to feel again the realities pressing into her soul.
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening