*This story is under my folder titled “Zeze and Zuzu the clowns”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
Andrea twirled her hair, waiting for Alessia to stop talking with Erik, a boy Alessia liked.
She and her friend, Alessia, were at the gym, just like everybody else in tenth grade, looking to find dates for the school spring dance, as that was what they were supposed to do. Alessia was just better at talking to people. She had spoken to others with ease, as though it took no effort to come up with something to talk about.
When Andrea tried speaking, words died in her throat, she felt sweat beading down her forehead and then she had to leave.
Alessia tried getting Andrea to “make new friends” but it was an absolute Hell. Andrea wondered if they all thought that she was weird and annoying, so she seldom spoke at all.
That’s why Andrea didn’t approach anyone at the gym. The school was having a spring dance and gave out a free period in the gym for the kids to ask someone out.
Andrea didn’t want to come, but Alessia made her, saying the same excuse she had for years “You’ll make new friends”.
She didn’t want new friends! She was perfectly fine with Alessia, why did she need new friends?
“Did someone ask you out?”
Andrea looked up.
A boy with black hair and blue eyes looked back at her. He wore the school uniform which made him look like a sailor, a long-sleeved white shirt and pants, a blue ribbon hanging off his neck, black shoes.
She didn’t like describing anyone as “handsome” “beautiful” or “ugly”, because no one was truly handsome, beautiful, or ugly, but the boy was nice to look at.
“No. Why?” Andrea asked.
The boy sat next to her, on the bench.
“Andrea, will you go out to the dance with me?” The boy asked.
Andrea’s heart fluttered within her. He knew her name! He wanted to ask her out!
She never knew how good it would feel to have someone take an interest in her, but in that moment, Andrea felt like the loveliest girl alive.
“Yes, I will.” Andrea beamed.
“You will?” The boy asked, as if he wasn’t certain. Andrea knew that feeling. He couldn’t believe that she wanted to go out with him.
“I will.”
“G-Great!” The boy stuttered. He got up from the bench and almost ran away, but Andrea grabbed his arm, stopping him.
“Don’t go, I don’t know your name!”
The boy’s eyes darted around nervously. That was alright, she had been there. She wasn’t one to judge.
“It’s…it’s Carter!” He said with reddening cheeks.
He let go and ran off. Andrea smiled softly, thinking of Carter.
He didn’t need to be scared. She would show Carter on the night of the dance that everything would be just fine.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
Same story in Carter’s perspective:
Asking Andrea out
Aww for once a feel good story. Cheers me up too! Will check out Carter's perspective, probably after this one.
Though when it's one of your stories I'm starting to read sinister stuff into everything so the ending sentence feels a bit ominious =D Will everything really be just fine?
I feel like the sentence structure, especially in the beginning was a bit too repetitive and simple, but I like how Carter's nervousness came through!
Hi, vic here for another review because i'm sick and have nothing better to do, and this caught my eye while I was scrolling through the green room. Very short and sweet!
I really like the premise of this chapter because it's so cute hehe i love stories where two socially awkward outcasts end up bonding. I really like how both characters are kind of surprised that the other actually reciprocated their interests because it feels like a realistic piece of dialogue that I could imagine actually happening or witnessing in school.
A couple of spots I either really liked or felt needed improvement:
I feel this in my soul. For me, I have bad memories with school dances so I tend to avoid them.
I really like Andrea's line of thought here where she doesn't judge. It's refreshing to hear a story where both sides aren't like total divas or something.
The first two sentences here feel a little dry compared to the rest of the story, maybe because of the commas feeling a little too formal forn school. Something like:
"Don't go, I don't even know your name yet!"
Would maintain the feeling of casual chatter.
Also, I feel like the emotions Carter is described as feeling aren't as obvious as they are in the other perspective. In that story, he's surprised and embarassed that someone actually said yes, but from here it kinda looks like he just tried to ditch her or something.
Since I don't know what a relationship feels like, I can't comment on how you would write a prom scene, but I do like how it's portrayed here.
I do hope that nothing bad happens to them given the earlier plot :sob:
- Victor
Thank you for your suggestions and he only ran because he was starting to feel like it was all too much for him, but I guess I should have described that better.
I myself have also never been in any relationship so when I write about it I just do what I imagine they%u2019d be like haha.