*This story is underneath my folder titled “Zeze and Zuzu the clowns”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
It was nice to have a dance partner at the spring dance. Heck, it was nice to be at the spring dance.
But Andrea really had to know…
“Why did you ask me out?”
Carter pursued his lips, deep in thought. They danced to piano music, lost in each other’s arms.
“You seemed like a nice girl. I thought of asking you out.” Carter said.
That simple statement somehow made Andrea blush. He thought that she was nice. No one at school, except for Alessia, thought that she was nice. They avoided her, kept close to their friends. She felt too much, she talked too much. No one wanted to deal with that.
Alessia stormed towards the exit, Erik chasing after her.
Andrea almost ran off to comfort her, but stopped herself.
If Alessia was upset, she’d take it out on Andrea. She’d yell at her, scream at her to go away.
Alessia needed time to rest. That was all. She’d talk to Andrea later.
“Are you alright?” Carter asked.
“Yes, I’m fine.” Andrea smiled.
She needed to enjoy herself. Who knew when a night like that would come again for her?
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hello creeperfeverdreams! Just a short review today.
I like the vibes this little vignette/story carries - a simple feeling of young love and finding comfort in company. Not too much is happening, but we get a feel for Carter and Andrea's relationship and the dynamics between the characters.
I don't know why, but this was almost a little funny to me? Without much context, I'm going to assume that Carter maybe isn't super eloquent or good with his words in general, because "nice" is an interesting adjective to use on a girl you like! I think it might be helpful to add more descriptions on his behavior/actions... we get many hints of Andrea's infatuation for him, but not much about Carter himself.
This is obviously supposed to be an abrupt cut from Andrea's thoughts, but I feel like it was confusing since we haven't really gotten a mention of Alessia or Eric at all in the story. I had to do a reread to make sure I hadn't missed something, and then quickly get acclimated to there being additional characters. Perhaps mentioning them earlier in the story to give them a soft introduction could help!
I love this. It captures the whimsy and fragility of youth; it only happens once and can easily slip out of your fingers. Andrea is torn between helping a friend and being more selfish by keeping the night for herself, and I like that it's clear we see her morals and thought process through this. It's interesting that Andrea says Alessia would yell at her - adolescent behavior at its finest! It makes me curious about the deeper history of their relationship.
Hope this helped!
Calamity
oops
And because I wrote one on the prequel to this, I am going to write one here as well. I'm genuinely not trying to review farm and i'll try to be as concise as possible so this review will probably be a little shorter then the prior ones.
So firstly, I like that it jumps straight to the dance scene, which seems like a natural evolution of the previous stories. I like that Andrea thinks the same way that Carter thinks of her, which is that they both are afraid that the other is just being courteous instead of actually liking eachother.
I also really like that Andrea describes herself as someone others avoid, because it helps show how close her relationship with Alessia is and why she is also so surprised when Carter asks her out.
One thing I am confused to though, is why Alessia storms out. There isn't really a reason given, apart from maybe that she and erik didn't work out? I mean, last chapter was about her asking out erik and being excited to go to the dance with Andrea. A little more context would be nice here to explain why Alessia was so angry. That sentence feels a little out of place and could use a transition, like
"Suddenly, she spotted Alessia storming towards the exit"
Keep writing!
- Vic
I%u2019m happy you enjoyed and thanks for the suggestion!