Hello there! This is Orabella, here with a quick review!! ^^
I unfortunately have not read Town of Richardson, but I just had to review this lovely work. (One day... hopefully, one day...)
And though I don't know anything about it, there's a lot that I can infer about it (which is great in lyrics, especially about a story, as it means it's specific to the story and not too vague, in which case it might not be as interesting.) There's a lot about the town that is told - that there are 24 people living there, the person she is talking to probably just moved there, or maybe Madeleine herself? It feels like she knows the place pretty well, but it also says that she moved in a few days ago.
Some things I'd suggest to improve: some of the lines don't feel very flowy in a way I would assume lyrics would go. Often there's a rhythm and pattern for lyrics because they have to fit the notes (although that's not always the case). If you wanted to make it more convincing of lyrics, you might want to try adding more pattern. (Although this is totally not necessary and functions perfectly well as lyrics as it is!)
To make it more lyric-y and song-like, I'd also suggest looking more close at the rhyming scheme. For example:
Me and you, we’re the only ones here
They say they’ve got a population of twenty-four
But it’s just me and you, forevermore
To me it kinds of feels like the last line should end with a rhyme for "here" instead of "four". It think it might run smoother if it went in an ABA pattern of rhyme (where A is words that rhyme with 'here' and B is words that rhyme with 'four' in this case), although I think that's just me. I pay more attention to rhyming than I probably should do. XD
What I love is the repetition of:
Welcome to Richardson!
My name is Madeleine
And I’m your only friend
The way it's in the beginning, the middle, and the end just adds so much meaning and at the perfect time, too!! It also fits as a song, as this would likely be the chorus. At first, it doesn't seem too significant. It's just a welcome, an introduction, and what seems to be an ordinary fact. There's nothing suspicious to me about Madeleine saying that the person she is talking to is only friends with her. But when it repeats in the middle and especially at the end, it feels so much more eerie. (Knowing horror is you most common genre, that makes sense) At the end, it feels much more threatening, as if she's saying that she is the only one this person is allowed to be friends with. I might be interpreting that wrong, but it's still cool and eerie!
From what I can see, this is such an interesting story, and I'd love to know more about it! Let me know if you're looking for any more readers for this story, and if there's anything specifically you want me to review. (This story or outside of it) (and yes I'm going to review Zombies of Mariesville very soon I can't wait until I have some more time)
Please have an amazing day/night, and don't forget to keep writing! (It's amazing how many unique stories you have by the way what the heck you're awesome!!!)
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