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12+ Violence Mature Content

Annabelle-Lee Richardson’s song

by vampricone6783


*I made this song from my story “The town of Richardson.” It’s based on one of the characters for the story,Annabelle-Lee Richardson.


Annabelle-Lee Richardson.

The last of them to survive.

Annabelle-Lee Richardson.

The woman in black.


She rarely gets a word in,only to tell a ghost story.

How many ghost stories does she know?

Why is she so secretive?

What is she hiding?

What is she hiding?

Is she lying?


Is there more behind the black dresses and haunted stares?

What’s behind that black hat?

Who is the woman underneath the guarded words?

What is she hiding?

What is she hiding?

What is the story behind Annabelle-Lee Richardson?




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Tue Sep 06, 2022 2:58 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Annabelle-Lee Richardson.

The last of them to survive.

Annabelle-Lee Richardson.

The woman in black.

She rarely gets a word in,only to tell a ghost story.

How many ghost stories does she know?

Why is she so secretive?

What is she hiding?

What is she hiding?

Is she lying?

Is there more behind the black dresses and haunted stares?

What’s behind that black hat?

Who is the woman underneath the guarded words?

What is she hiding?

What is she hiding?

What is the story behind Annabelle-Lee Richardson?


And I am back to take another look at one of these songs here once again courtesy of the checklist challenge because I don't normally go through these. And well...this one is most definitely rather interesting here especially because this whole piece more or less appears to just be a nice long series of questions here without much else going on.

Thinking a bit deeper into here and tapping into the little I remember of this character I love the vibe this is trying to create here. Its a very sort of unexpected one because we get to see that she was the sole survive of this whole massacre and disaster but instead of it being anything good, its been used to sort of fuel this mystery about her and almost question what sort of darkness she hides within her. You get the idea that this is a very closed off person who appears maybe almost hostile to the people around her, just telling these long forgotten tales of death.

I think it paints a lovely picture of what seems to be the most important elements of who this character seems to be in this particular story.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sat Jul 16, 2022 10:13 pm
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Hijinks wrote a review...



Hi there vampricone! I'm here with a short review for you c:

I would assume I'm missing quite a bit of context if this song is meant to be about a character from a story - so in that respect, I can't give much feedback on how well it fits the character or the plot of that story. I do really enjoy, however, that you include a lot of details that give me a good impression of what Annabelle-Lee is like; resilient, mysterious, dark, suspicious, ominous. With these descriptions, I can picture what she might look or act like pretty well in my mind!

One thing that is typically an elements of songs/lyrics is a bit of rhyming. It's not mandatory, obviously (barely anything is in writing), but that's what most people expect when they start out listening to a song. Sometimes a songwriter can purposefully break that expectation for effect (Tom's Diner by Susanne Vega is a great example of this), and that's a valid choice. Here, however, I think it could make the lyrics a bit more catchy/compelling, especially as you haven't gone all-out with other literary devices (alliteration, imagery, etc.) to compensate. There is some slant rhyme in the lines "What is she hiding? / Is she lying?" which I enjoyed! Potentially experiment with bringing that type of rhyme into some other lines, as well!

In terms of tone, you create a interesting, interrogative voice with a lot of rhetorical questions. I could see this being something that another character might be singing about Annabelle-Lee, so I think that makes a lot of sense! It also adds to the overall vibe of mystery and intrigue nicely.

Overall, I'd encourage you to expand on your use of poetic devices to make the lyrics even richer and more vivid. You can check out this article on a couple common poetic devices, and this one on imagery if you're interested. Otherwise, I enjoyed your depiction of Annabelle-Lee's personality and vibe. I hope this review proves useful for you, and if there's anything you have questions about or would like me to expand on, let me know.

Keep writing!
Seirre





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