Destined...

Hey there vagrant, I'm here to review!

So I think you've got some good techniques in punctuation and line breaks, the poem read fairly smoothly. But I think at this point the content is fairly unoriginal. In fact I did a quick search of a few of the lines in the poem and it turns out there's a song that expresses all the same things, even with some of the same lines: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/leannri ... ilive.html

The problem with content being sort of unoriginal is that it often ends up feeling cliche. A way to make a poem more unique is to add specificity. By that I mean, describe the person the speaker is in love with, what do they look like, why do they like them, how did they meet? Literally any specific detail will ground the poem and give opportunity for people to connect with it.

I wrote a little article on specificity if you want more advice on how to incorporate that in your poem: Specificity in Poetry.

Some other things you could add to give your poem some depth and make it more memorable would be to use some poetic sound-devices like assonance, consonance, or alliteration or you could even use some metaphors too. These sorts of things make a poem more dynamic and lyrical sounding.

I hope that helps! Best of luck in your continued writing!

~alliyah

Hello, I'm Jess.

I think that this piece is really pretty, and shows the basis of what love is, even if it's one-sided questions being pondered. It's interesting that you chose to pick this side, and these questions. I also enjoy that you answered some of the questions from the character's mind. Like they were rhetorical.

The only thing I kinda questioned was this line,

"You're like that angel that can transform my life."

I would say that to me it sounds like it doesn't fit with the poem. If you switched it to You are the angel, I think it'd sound better, but that's just an opinion.

Otherwise, it's really good and can't wait to hear some more!

Sincerely, Slurringsugars

Hi, I really like your idea of a lover professing his unrequited love in a wishful thinking poem-like thing and it's sweet. I like the way you write and the only thing I think I can remark upon is that perhaps you'd consider trying to use your own descriptions. It can easily fall into a cliché so maybe change a few of the descriptive words to more quirky and personal, that matches the person you're describing and the person talking. Otherwise I really liked it!
Jamalka Diorovna