Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Romantic

16+

The Night I Met My Love

by vagrant


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

On the first night we met,

The moon was shining pale.

Streets were slow.

Lights gleaming from everywhere,

to everywhere.

Everyone was quiet,

so still.

It had been a tiring day at work.

And I was hoping to take another shot

at this.

Another date,

another attempt at my pending love story.

I'd never met her in person.

Just saw a snapshot of her,

on her dating profile.

And I believe she did too.

But seeing her through,

the glasspane of that restaurant.

It felt like I was seeing her for the first time.

I just stood there still,

as if I had discerned magic in front of my eyes.

If angels exist on this planet,

well, that night I saw one.

She was like a dream,

A dream so sweet that I'd never want it to end.

Sipping her latte,

Sitting in that bright red dress…

Waiting for me.

Calling the waiter,

Again and again,

She drank a little too much caffeine that night.

I'd never loved red so much,

Until I saw her that night.

Seeing that beautiful face of hers,

I stood there stoked.

How can someone look so amazing?

No fancy makeup on,

But that glow of her face,

The blush of her cheeks,

The dazzle of her blue eyes,

The flow of her wonderful black hair,

The sparkle of her smile made me question

my self worth,

Did I even deserve such a goddess?

Me, an imperfect idiot and she,

A piece of perfect art.

Even though I arrived two hours ago,

I was still standing behind the glass.

Seeing her as much as I could

For I knew I couldn't have her

I just never deserved her.

I saw her as she got up,

all raged.

Gosh, she looked amazing even in anger!

She stormed out the restaurant,

fixed her tiny hat...

I'd never loved hats so much,

Until I saw one on her gorgeous head that night.

She got in her Ford,

And as she began to drive away..

Suddenly a strange confidence came in me.

Adrenaline rushing through my veins,

Heart galloping as fast as it could.

I had this immense desire in me.

All I wanted to do was to stop her

Stop her from leaving forever.

I wanted to build a home in her heart,

And make her,

a part of my story.

What followed was the craziest thing I did.

I popped in front of her car.

She almost ran over me.

She got out

and came running towards me.

Looked at me for a second and stared for two

as I laid there bedazzled by her presence.

"I saw you outside. Why didn't you come in?

Do you know how long I've been waiting?",

she questioned.

"How could I dare to?

Why would you want to be with me?", I asked.

"Well…why not?", she whispered.

I had a brief smile on my face.

And she had too.

Her smile said a thousand words.

That's when I knew,

She was made for me.

That maybe she was the rope,

I was looking for to hold on to.

Our eyes danced together.

She held my hand tightly.

It was a moment of love,

A moment to adore.

And then,

as if automatically,

my hands got behind her back.

And hers behind my head.

She pulled me towards herself,

Our lips touched for the first time.

I could taste her strawberry lip gloss.

I'd never loved strawberries so much,

Until I met her that night.

And just like that,

Our love story had begun.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
223 Reviews


Points: 1515
Reviews: 223

Donate
Sun Apr 28, 2019 2:45 pm
Horisun wrote a review...



Great poem! I'm curious, did this actually happen, or did you make it up for story purposes?

I really liked the figurative language, and the word choice. It was really enjoyable. There is one minor thing that I would like to point out, and that is that after every piece of dialogue, you added a comma, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's incorrect.

Overall, great poem, I can't wait to read more from you! Happy Review Day!




User avatar
25 Reviews


Points: 109
Reviews: 25

Donate
Wed Apr 24, 2019 12:23 pm
26Gemini says...



Tears, no. *Waves hand in front of face.*




User avatar
64 Reviews


Points: 733
Reviews: 64

Donate
Wed Apr 24, 2019 12:09 am
Aliceinhorrorland wrote a review...



Hello, I’m here to review this! I liked the imagery and descriptions of this poem, because I could see a scene play out in my head. There’s only a few critiques I have for this poem, one of them is that you didn’t put punctuation for like two lines. Of course this isn’t a huge thing and it’s easily correctable. (It didn’t effect the poem). One last critique that I can think of right now is that I don’t particularly like how you ended the poem. I think it would have flowed/ended better if you said something like “And just like that, our story had begun.” It’s a slight change but you referred earlier that you wanted her in your story so I thought it tied together? Idk I ain’t no Albert Einstein XD. I liked this poem because it told a story and kept me wanting to read the entire thing. Some poems are so hard to read that you begin to have a headache, especially with long poems like this.
However, this poem is an exception and it kept me entertained. Tho I dunno why this is rated sixteen and up, is it because of the kiss? Lol
Anywaysss, I don’t have any more critiques, you wrote this pretty well. And as the other reviewer said you captured the feeling of “love at first sight,” and it was a cool reading experience.

So yah overall, this a great poem with minimal errors. Are you and the girl in red still together?

- Alice




vagrant says...


Hey thanks so much for the review. I appreciate the corrections and I will edit the poem asap. I am glad that you enjoyed it. (However no I have not even met a lady in red until now. So yeah my love story is still pending;) )



User avatar
114 Reviews


Points: 7140
Reviews: 114

Donate
Tue Apr 23, 2019 3:23 pm
FabihaNeera wrote a review...



Hello,

This is a nicely written poem! I like how every line tells a story about the two characters meeting and falling in love. Every line has metaphors and good imagery... and they all portray the character's thoughts to put the readers in their view.

To me, it seems like their "love story" may have started a bit too soon because they hadn't even met before this... but it takes on the concept of "love at first sight". Still, this is a nice poem with a very real and romantic story!

Keep Writing :)




vagrant says...


Thanks for taking time to write this wonderful review. Glad to know you enjoyed it %uD83D%uDE0A



FabihaNeera says...


:)




Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.
— Willie Nelson