Two wise men stare up to the night,
Neither one wrong nor either one right.
"Look there!" Says one, as he points to a light,
"The moon, it is smiling, for us tonight!"
The other one sneers as he follows the gaze.
"That is no such smile, just a bowl full of rain.
When we shall expect a warm sunny day
Thy moon will tip over, and sorrow will stay."
Two wise men stare up to the night,
Neither one wrong nor either one right.
But smile or bowl were not really true.
For it is what it is, and what it is is the moon.
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140,636 Literary Works • 673,573 Reviews
Hey there! Noir here, and I'll be your reviewer today. Let's rock.
First up, concept. The concept of two people looking up at the moon with an underlying theme of opinions was phenomenal! I loved that concept. It was original and classic. The concept was superb.
Next up, rhythm. The rhythm of this poem made me think of a song a mother may sing to her child. It felt slow and somber, and I loved that.
Finally, grammar. No mistakes there!
Overall, this was a great poem. Great concept, slow rhythm, and no grammar mistakes.
10/10
This has been Noir, and there's your review.
Hello, Kyla here to review you. I really enjoyed reading this poem! I think it is subtle, and neat. I would like to break it down though, as I do with everything I review and tell you what I se and think. If I say something misleading, you disagree, or I am incorrect please correct me. These aren't professional thoughts, but I hope they help in some way.
In the first part, I love! I think this first part is strong, but very subtle. I do think though, that instead of putting "Two wise ones" it should've been maybe "two wise men" or women, depending on the gender. I think this because later on in the part, you put "as he points to a light". I think that after "a light" you should put a period to end that seeing as how you are starting with "The moon...".
In the next part, I really like it, I think it it very good and you don't have any punctuation problems.
In this next part, I think that you need to do what I mentioned with the first part. I think that you need a comma after "it is what it is" and before "is the moon".
I really hope this helps. This is a very good poem, keep writing.