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by therealme

Published March 8, 2013

In Poetry

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Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Rosan
Review
Rosan wrote a review Review · Mar 27, 2013

So sad... I hope I could write like that too...

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umaima
Review
umaima wrote a review Review · Mar 19, 2013

hey there,
I am umaima and I am going to review your submission today,
Well first of all I would like to say that your poem was really great, It was very touching and I could feel the sadness you tried to put here. Well I will have to say that you are really good at poetry and you should try it more often.
well when I read your poem I thought it as a Quatrain type poem. the one with four line stanzas and felt that would be more appropriate and also I would like you to focus on the flow. I know how important this poem is to you so if you want others to also feel it then you should try to fix the rhythmic structure of it. You started great and the first stanza turned out a hit but then you lost track of rhythm and sense as a whole later on but only at some places (which isn't that bad).
Otherwise your poem was really really touching and was filled with emotions and I really liked it so keep on writing and I wish you luck for your future works.

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Questio
Comment
Questio commented Comment · Mar 9, 2013

Made me cry. I love it when a poem does that. But since this is a reveiw, I am going to have to say: Check the spelling on a word or two and look at the rhyming sequence a little. Some words were spelled similarly but didn't rhyme. That's okay though. The great subject more than makes up for those minute errors. Once again, you made me cry. Darn and thank you at the same time.

yeah i wrote it after my dog died :( not that i didn't neglect her or anything but when someone you love dies you can't help but feel guilty about things and regret not doing enough of this or that with them. I will try and fix the spelling/rhythm errors that you mentioned. i found it a lot harder to make each line rhyme and had to use some words that don't really work that well so that it did.

whoops! sorry i meant 'not that i neglected her' and not 'not that i didn't neglect her'. wow that made me sound so cruel. thanks a lot for the review by the way xx



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