Arose from coagulated blood,
A parasite looking for a home host,
It didn't have an identity,
except for it's destructive nature
Imitating life from an apocalypto world.
Parasites— what are they?
Something that lives inside another human being.
Well then, could a soul be a parasite? To a body that didn't deserve harm?
Ah well, it almost has a ring to it— a parasitic soul, built to destroy it's host body, in ways unimaginable.
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141,247 Literary Works • 674,329 Reviews
Hi Silly!! I'm here to read and review!
I think the original title described a parasite perfectly. Everyone will see it through their own filter. I am a mother who loves her child and still see it that way.
Like when the egg bursts from the ovary.
the embryo floats down looking for where to implant
Exactly. It has no identity at that stage. Just a bundle of cells, causing reactions to the host that are destructive on multiple levels.
Indeed, we are riddled with so many things that live within us. I feel like there is distinction though. Some things that live inside us actually help us instead of harming. The good bacteria in our gut for instance. So just living in us is not necessarily the only marker of a parasite.
Which brings to bear the question of the soul. Does it help? Harm? Both? Do the positives outweigh the negatives? I feel like those are questions each person has to answer for themselves. This life is all about perspectives of course. What is true for me may not be so for you. What i see as helpful others may see as damaging. Neither is necessarily wrong or right and they are likely both.
Very thought-provoking poem! Thank you for sharing!
Loved your review!! Thankyouu!
So, I found your poem somber. It's dark and distressing. I don't think the view of a fetus as a parasite, a thing, is correct since we were all fetuses once, but I also understand the woman's perspective on these bodily changes. Some may love it, as it indicates their incredible power to create life, and others may hate it. I don't know if it was a metaphor, or something you truly feel, but that's it, I saw the perspective of a woman who didn't want her child...
While I prefer people to have their own interpretations, what you described about the poem was not my intention. The reason I described the poem as a "foetus" was purely because it's unfinished, unedited and clearly full of technical errors which in and of itself makes it more honest, more raw. The poem in itself however is about something else entirely. Thankyou for reviewing though!
OHHHH, im so embarrassing. Really, sorry!!
Don't worry about it! Happens to the best of uss
Hello! This poem caught my eye in the Green Room, and I really enjoyed it. It's interesting to describe a fetus as a parasite. I never thought of it that way, so it's cool to see different interpretations. I like how that part is put at the end of the poem. It feels like an effective way to tie the whole thing together.
I noticed some grammar errors, but 4revgreen caught the same mistakes I did, so check out their review below for details.
I love the imagery in the first line. It feels intense and captures the meaning of the poem very well. That sense of horror and revulsion and knowing (or not) that it's happening inside your body is disturbing. Great job!
Thankyou so much!
Hi! I really enjoyed your poem. Silly me didn't read the description, and I just saw you described this as a foetus poem, so I think some of my analysis might not make sense in that regard. The idea that a foetus is a parasite is one I have toyed with myself, because it literally is. It feeds from you, drains you, gets bigger and bigger and then bursts out of you. But it is seen as a normal thing for women to go through, despite how traumatic it can be. This adds even more meaning to your poem and I like it even more <3
Here are some thoughts I had:
I think this should be 'arisen' to make more sense? I love the use of coagulated; very visceral.
This should probably be a period rather than a comma
Should be its, not it's. Very nice imagery here. I also wonder if since you already referred to the parasite as 'it' at the start of the sentence, you could say 'except for a destructive nature' instead?
Ooh I didn't see this analysis coming. I like it, suggesting a person being alive and thinking is like having a parasite; it destroys you. The physical self is an innocent victim and their mind/soul is the destructive agent. I also maybe saw it as perhaps having another person's soul - being in love - destroys a person too. Again, it should be its, not 'it's'. It's = it is. Its = possessive (its body, the body belongs to it)
The use of biological horror here evokes a disturbing feeling, perhaps highlighting how experiencing mental illness can feel like you are imitating a person rather than being a genuine human being.
Thankyou so much for your review!! I'll try to improve
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