Parasite by sillynotbilly06 — Poetry

Hi! I really enjoyed your poem. Silly me didn't read the description, and I just saw you described this as a foetus poem, so I think some of my analysis might not make sense in that regard. The idea that a foetus is a parasite is one I have toyed with myself, because it literally is. It feeds from you, drains you, gets bigger and bigger and then bursts out of you. But it is seen as a normal thing for women to go through, despite how traumatic it can be. This adds even more meaning to your poem and I like it even more <3

Here are some thoughts I had:

Arose from coagulated blood,

I think this should be 'arisen' to make more sense? I love the use of coagulated; very visceral.

A parasite looking for a home host,

This should probably be a period rather than a comma

It didn't have an identity,

except for it's destructive nature

Imitating life from an apocalypto world.

Should be its, not it's. Very nice imagery here. I also wonder if since you already referred to the parasite as 'it' at the start of the sentence, you could say 'except for a destructive nature' instead?

Well then, could a soul be a parasite? To a body that didn't deserve harm?
Ah well, it almost has a ring to it— a parasitic soul, built to destroy it's host body, in ways unimaginable.

Ooh I didn't see this analysis coming. I like it, suggesting a person being alive and thinking is like having a parasite; it destroys you. The physical self is an innocent victim and their mind/soul is the destructive agent. I also maybe saw it as perhaps having another person's soul - being in love - destroys a person too. Again, it should be its, not 'it's'. It's = it is. Its = possessive (its body, the body belongs to it)

The use of biological horror here evokes a disturbing feeling, perhaps highlighting how experiencing mental illness can feel like you are imitating a person rather than being a genuine human being.

Comments & reviews · 2

Valkyria

Review

Valkyria wrote a review Review · 4h ago

Hello! This poem caught my eye in the Green Room, and I really enjoyed it. It's interesting to describe a fetus as a parasite. I never thought of it that way, so it's cool to see different interpretations. I like how that part is put at the end of the poem. It feels like an effective way to tie the whole thing together.

I noticed some grammar errors, but 4revgreen caught the same mistakes I did, so check out their review below for details.

I love the imagery in the first line. It feels intense and captures the meaning of the poem very well. That sense of horror and revulsion and knowing (or not) that it's happening inside your body is disturbing. Great job!