A bony hand searches through
the pile of organs
lungs and liver and intestines
looking for the heart
it couldn't
the heart was gone
"Reality often is disappointing"
but the figure was only enraged
rips and shreds the skin became
yet the heart wasn't found
now amidst the pile of
blood, flesh and oblivious pain
something was found
it seemed like the heart
only it smelled putrid
the colour of bile yellow
and a wisp of black
the search continued
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Okay the title reminded me of a manga that I quite liked which is why I came here to take a look at your poem =D
I like the idea of searching for the heart and the repetition of the phrase in different versions. That's really cool.
And the fact that in the end, it wasn't found too. Or maybe that it was so deformed and unrecogniseable that it couldnt be identified as such!
Also the idea of oblivious pain, that the searcher doesn't understand they're dealing damage. AHh the horror of it!
I do wonder what it all means because poetry is usually steeped in so many layers that I don't understand. But it has some really fascinating word choices!
Thankyou so much for reviewing my poem!! The poem is open for interpretation, however, it's mainly based around self destruction and change.
I like how you use body-horror imagery to explore emotional emptiness and loss. The metaphors you used are vivid, unsettling, and effective in tone. Some of the symbolism is abit unclear, but the imagery is memorable and consistent.
Overall, i think it's a poem that successfully convey psychological decay through physical imagery.
Thankyou so much for reviewing