Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.
unscrew, undo, you know the drill
look, it's a fish swimming with no gills
latch the eyes, you don't have to witness
just listen to the harmonica in reverse
it slides through the lips in a perpetual rhythm
now there's blood and that peculiar pattern
left and right, the music sways
left and right, the sting delays
hey, we've almost come to an end
no, it wasn't something to defend—
a bandaid and some chorus lines
ah, a wound instead of "I am fine"s
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137,690 Literary Works • 672,059 Reviews
this is a really touching poem. the way you used the pun in the title (i confirmed it from a reply of yours but thats what i initially interpreted as well), as if this poem were to be kept a secret, which is why the title itself tells the reader to hush about it. the content itself is a beautiful portrait of how a victim (i believe thatd be the best word to use) would keep convincing themselves and/or others that they are fine although they know what lies under a bandaid. the comparison of music produced by a harmonica with the aforementioned topic is also interesting as music is mostly associated with joys of life, as thats the typical music one would sway to. the first few lines. indicate the activities described in the poem to be a routine activity, and the line
'latch the eyes, you don't have to witness'
gives a sense that the narrator is sick of repeating it but they just cant stop it. its as if they are asking what remained of what they were before they started sh-ing to refrain from watching the self destruction.
i wish to write more, but id have to bring a dictionary as i am running out of words about how beautiful this piece of poetry is,
you really did an amazing job!
klited
This piece has a distinct voice that feels surreal and musical, especially with the repeated “left and right” lines that give it a steady rhythm. The imagery is striking and unusual, like the fish with no gills and the harmonica in reverse, which creates a disorienting but interesting atmosphere. At times the ideas feel a bit scattered, so tightening the connections between lines could help the meaning land more clearly without losing that abstract style. The ending is effective because it shifts into something more direct and emotional, and leaning into that clarity while keeping your creative imagery would make the poem even stronger
Thankyou for reviewing!
Hello Silly and so not Billy! And welcome to YWS~
I feel like it's about environment harm, like how things are going backwards to nothingness.I rrrrreallllyy loved your poem!!!!! I would have to say it's wierd, and I here for it! (A lot of exclamation signs I know, but these are just my actual reactions)
I'm going to be honest, I had a hard time trying to interpret the meanings behind all the lines (skill issues :]) but that's the best part. It was like Beethoven playing in the background of the poem, like a theme song lol. So, now I'm gonna lay down what i made of your work-
Okay, the first two lines
The not having to witness part I assume is about ignoring what harm is being done (ofcourse). And the 'listen to the harmonica in reserve' could mean- look at it from a optimistic perspective. Like the harm being done is reverse would be undoing, healing......
There can be a lot of interpretions I'm sure, personal meanings too. I couldn't make of what the rest meant. I would love to know how you interpreted your work while writing.
Once again, I loved your work.
Bravo! ^^
Tqsm for checking my poem!!! I will see if I can help with the actual meaning
%u200Eso first of all the title shh is about both the act of whispering and self harm, which is like the theme of the poem.
%u200EThe first line is about the repetitive procedure and psyche behind sh, trying to undo things. You understood the second and third line well and also the fourth and fifth but there's another reason I used that specific instrument which might be a bit graphic so yeah be careful about that.
%u200Eso the reason I used that instrument is because it slides left and right through the mouth to create music, creating a happy scene, similarly the blade which was unscrewed slides left and right against the skin until there's blood and scars. in the end I just say that this kind of behaviour is not normal or defendable, it's a coverup, a pretence.
%u200E
Thank you so much for explaining. You really did a good metaphorical imagery