Young Writers Society

Hey phangirldivergent46, it's AshleyDashley here for a quick review!

I liked this poem your flow was nice and kept me reading. I like the description, because I could visualize what was going on and what you were saying. I did a lot of those things too and now that you mention it I can remember them. I can feel the emotion from then and I took this poem to heart. Overall you did an amazing job writing this. Great job and keep up the great work and I hope to read more of your work in the future!

AshleyDashley

AHAHHAHAHAHAH

...hey there, I'm MemoryHunter. You probably know why I'm here.

Okay let's make this review neat and tidy, shall we? I present to you...

My article-writing style of things. ENUMERATIOOOOON!

1. starting lines

It's okay, but if you really want to crank it up a notch... you should think of another way to introduce nostalgia. Not "everything was so much fun" or whatever. How is it fun? Or, you can use imagery. As of now, it's looking fine, but it can be improved.

2. punctuation

I'm going to guess something: you're punctuation conscious. Sometimes you put commas where it would sound awkward to do so or where the line breaks already serve as a pause, so it's superfluous. Relax. Nobody's going to criticize you for no punctuation in one line. Though, you do have to be consistent with it. An example would be:

and troubling my parents,

whenever they tried to stop me.

Fake sleeping on the couch,

so that dad would carry me to bed.

Whenever on a road trip

thinking the moon followed our car

Trying to balance the switch between on and off,

throwing a fit whenever I succeeded.

All those deeds

sound nothing but crazy

to me now,

but seriously,

This really makes me want to be a kid again. This is insanely relatable, and well written as well! It feels like a deep thought from an adult who is just tired of being an adult. It made me think back to the good o'l days from when I was so young, and carefree. I like the way you made the stanzas and the title is fairly, interesting, and you delivered what I expected this to be: a beautiful nostalgic poem.

how do i delete comments? I accidentally posted the review twice but I don't know how to delete so I just changed it to this instead

Oh great poem!!
I could relate to this so much.
Especially the fake sleeping part:)
Great work girl!! Proud of you!
Keepwriting..
Your emotion keeper;)
~bookoholic22

Good good, very good poetry about being a small kiddo and doing whatever you want.
I think I have nothing bad to say or compail about in this piece because I did not find any problems with it which is kind of strange for me.So to go on with this writing:

1.The tittle is okey.Could be better but still catchy enough to make me look at it,right?
heh.
2.Your punctuation and grammar is on point atleast this is what I think about reading but who knows if i read it several times.Anyways,good job.Usually the most part of my review is to put fullstops or commas on the right places so you atleast gave me a relief with that one.i have absolutely nothing to correct here.What a relief!
3.Your idea is so sweet and cute!
Of course everyone can relate because we all were or still are kids because we all here are young so...it is relatable as I said earlier!This is good because readers get the idea very fast while reading.I like that it is a big longer than a basic short poetry.

I love this! It is so sweet, and it reminds me of being an eight year old

I loved it and find it very relatable! I miss my childhood too.

hey its me Teacake013 ready to review your literature. just so you know i do not try to say anything that will make anyone mad. so if i do i'm so sorry. also i hope you review my story's and poems too. thanks for listening.

so i liked this poem overall is was strange but that's the beauty of it. I thought the format was good the punctuation was amazing. I loved loved loved the little curly signs!!! they are so cute.
the length of this poem was really refreshing cuase now of days everything are short poems.

My only comment that is that you haft to decide if you are rhyming this or not because you cant really go back and forth or it stats to confuse the reader and starts to ruin the flow. that and you spelled didn't wrong Overall, the poem is good.

well anyway i hope you make the right corrections and take my comments to heart <3
I really hope i helped you out in some way. Keep writing!!!!

love your faithful reviewer and fellow writer, Teacke013

hey its me Teacake013 ready to review your literature. just so you know i do not try to say anything that will make anyone mad. so if i do i'm so sorry. also i hope you review my story's and poems too. thanks for listening.

so i liked this poem overall is was strange but that's the beauty of it. I thought the format was good the punctuation was amazing. I loved loved loved the little curly signs!!! they are so cute.
the length of this poem was really refreshing cuase now of days everything are short poems.

My only comment that is that you haft to decide if you are rhyming this or not because you cant really go back and forth or it stats to confuse the reader and starts to ruin the flow. that and you spelled didn't wrong Overall, the poem is good.

well anyway i hope you make the right corrections and take my comments to heart <3
I really hope i helped you out in some way. Keep writing!!!!

love your faithful reviewer and fellow writer, Teacke013

hey its me Teacake013 ready to review your literature. just so you know i do not try to say anything that will make anyone mad. so if i do i'm so sorry. also i hope you review my story's and poems too. thanks for listening.

so i liked this poem overall is was strange but that's the beauty of it. I thought the format was good the punctuation was amazing. I loved loved loved the little curly signs!!! they are so cute.
the length of this poem was really refreshing cuase now of days everything are short poems.

My only comment that is that you haft to decide if you are rhyming this or not because you cant really go back and forth or it stats to confuse the reader and starts to ruin the flow. that and you spelled didn't wrong Overall, the poem is good.

well anyway i hope you make the right corrections and take my comments to heart <3
I really hope i helped you out in some way. Keep writing!!!!

love your faithful reviewer and fellow writer, Teacke013

you spelled dint wrong (didn't) I am sure you know that, though. Overall, the poem is good. Everyone who did that or at least one thing on here is awesome. But, you know the youth today only care about electronics and crazy stuff like that. They do not think they have ever done any of these things because their faces are in the screens of their $500.00 cell phones and tablets. But, I do salute the ones that still do it. They are still out there, those that make fart noises with their armpits, those who can touch their eyeball to gross people out, those children are there.

Lol, love the poem.