Life is what you make it

hey fangirl!!
so i don"t write too much but i love literature!!
so coming to your poetry.
it is really an inspiration and more importantly its the truth.
and we do really need to learn that life is not a fantasy but a reality!!

And i do agree with audy because poems are feelings more than words..
keep writing!!

Fangirl!

The poem has a great message and sentiment driving it, it is hopeful and motivational and there are not enough happy poems around, eh? I love that about this, I like how you pull no punches and went straight with your voice (not everything has to rhyme hallelujah!) and that actually aids the piece too. It becomes straight forward and crisp.

Too straightforward. Isn't it awful how poetry involves so much balancing? By too-straightforward, I mean that this reads more like an outline for a poem, almost like a grocery list, rather than try to engage the reader with the poetry of the words. I understand how each stanza is supposed to build to set up your message, which is a fine technique - but each stanza needs to be able to stand on its own too. Sometimes, we write poems simply to express and tell a message. The best poems can tell a message in a straight forward matter, but still engage us! Why is it so important to engage the reader? Because that's what is going to make it memorable. That's what's going to inspire people to your message.

So, show, don't tell! Engage us. It's the difference between saying "life if what you make it" and building brick-by-brick the images in a life that was made: the trip to a grocery store that although mundane, is explored in depth and colors and wacky characters. The day at school, that although quite-boring, has transformed a kid into a physicist, shaking beakers and scratching problems upon a scratchy board. I would love to see more of your poetry, so ring me up if you do write another piece. ^^

I hope this helps.

~ as always, Audy

Hi there!
Nice style of writing.
Th idea of life being what you make 'of' it is nice.
Each assumption is properly compared.
The beauty is in its simplicity I guess.
Enjoyed reading it.

Be it a book or experiment or not, the one undeniable part of life is that it is made to liv.
To stop just existing and start living.
To see beyond mundane and appreciate the complex design in it.
To seek beyond and to strive beyond limits.
The idea is to live wholly not in part and pieces.
To bring forth the magnanimity of life.

Wow! I really really like the "If life is" setup at the beginning of each line. Because I'm kind of a poetry dummy, I have to read poems out loud to see if they flow. And I really enjoyed the movement of this one. I also liked how it was short and to the point. I'm not sure if you meant it to be this length or if you ran out of ideas to continue it, but either way, it works this length. I could feel the last stanza, especially the final line, deep in my gut. Also, I'd just like to point out I like the "the world is our stage" line, which has whispers of Shakespeare, a truly awesome dude. A very good work.