The city lights glimmer,
looking like stars.
From a distance
Everything looks so pretty.
As I close my eyes
and lean back
on my airplane seat.
Hello there, DivergentDemigod!This is Moonwatcher here with a review! ^-^This is a very short and sweet poem, and I couldn't really find much wrong with it because of this. There's emotion present in this, however, it's not a very strong one. Short pieces like this make it very hard for emotion to pass through because most of the time, there isn't very much detail. If you're still going for short and sweet, I wouldn't change this. But if it was meant to be an emotional piece, I'd try to add some more vivid imagery and detail, or other poetic elements.
The city lights glimmer,looking like stars.Twinkling.
From a distanceEverything looks so pretty.
Hey DivergentDemigod,First Impressions: Cute little poem with some upfront value. Not much to review here, so I'll make it simple and short for you.Positives: The positive side of this poem is that it's just so short and sweet that there's not really anything wrong with it. I wouldn't say that it's going to be posted with Yeats or Emerson, by any means, but it's still worthy of a notable read.Your use of a basic prose and modern adjectives fit well with the fact that the poem takes place in a modern time. Where else would you be leaning back in an airplane seat? Negatives: If I were to say one thing about this, it would be that I'm not sure what I'm supposed to get out of this piece? It's highly possible that there isn't anything, in which case it might be good to put a disclaimer, or tag it under "lyrical" so that we can tell.Besides the above item, there's not much to say is negative about this, as it would be like criticizing a toddler as it walks. Overall: Not bad. Nice little piece that's a fresh read.Thanks for sharing.I give it:
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