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16+ Mature Content

assigning meaning to something which has none

by Glauke


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

in the fading silver light of dusk,
we leave our marks on each other:
me, with my fingernails;
and you, with your teeth -

but deeper than that;
me with my heart,
and you with yours.

fearing, as i always have,
assigning meaning to something which has none;
i am quiet.
i don't tell you that your eyes thrill me
infinitely more than your hands do,
or that the way the shadows tuck themselves into your collarbones
leaves me breathless.

how could i?
i don't have the words, or the guts to say them.
all i have are my hands, my fingernails, my lips -
more than flesh and bone; tiny vessels
that together form my only means of conveyance -

but, fearing, as i always have,
assigning meaning to something which has none;
i will simply say this:

i hope you, too, feel as if
we go together
really, really well.

10/25/15


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Sat Apr 16, 2016 2:17 pm
Elijah wrote a review...



Pretty,stunning and emotional as always!
Anyways,I love this work and the way you talk about someone being in relationship,loving the other but still they hurt each other and fear for their own future.
I like the way you start where the reader things of two people who hurt each other but still love each other which is relatable to every person who had been or still is in such kind of a relationship.It is really relatable while you are reading this.It goes on smoothly and even.All the paras and lines are connected and equal as length.
Overall I do not know what else to say.You had described one type of relationship everyone I think can understand.
Good job and keep on writing.




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Wed Oct 28, 2015 4:08 am
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silverhanded wrote a review...



This is honestly such a sweet poem. Ive been in relationships like this, where there is a sort of disconnect but thats what makes it work. (Thats how I interpreted the poem, at least.)

I love the stanza beginning with "how could i?" Its so beautiful and just strikes me on such a personal level.

Just one little note--you might consider playing around a little with the formatting, especially the punctuation. There were a few little moments where it seemed to break the flow rather than contribute to it.

Thanks for posting this, it really resonated with me~




Glauke says...


Thanks again for your lovely feedback! :)



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Tue Oct 27, 2015 3:40 pm
kaylalala wrote a review...



Hello I am here for a review!!
First, I just wanted to say how great this poem is! I really loved the word choice that you used and how you used it. Everything flowed together and the ending topped and wrapped it all up.

I hope you, too, feel as if
we go together
really, really well.


This part of the poem showed the true feelings and connection and worry that you have with this guy/girl. I love how you waited til the end. I was wondering through the poem what does she fear of? And my question definitely was answered at the end of the poem.

i don't have the words, or the guts to say them.
all i have are my hands, my fingernails, my lips-


I think that you should replace "fingernails" with fingertips. It might bring a more fragile mood instead of such a feisty tone, like the first paragraph. You should try to ease up towards the end because of how fragile the ending is.

Other than that, I love your poem!!! It was short and sweet, and very descriptive i love it. Nice job (:




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Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:39 pm
BriannaNyx wrote a review...



This poem was amazing. It really shows how people think and how they second guess how much they mean to people. I love the line "assigning meaning to something which has none", it's really deep to me. It also sounds like it could be a song title too (haha cx). But this is a very sweet and sensitive poem, but I can't really tell if the two people in this poem are actually together or if they are just friends being closer than just friends. I say that because you say that both of their hearts are in this together, but then it says that they are scared to speak about how they love the other. I understand how people do not always trust what they see/feel on the surface so that clears a lot up.

Every line in this poem was well worded and executed, "tiny vessels" was just adorable.

P.s. If this is about you, I think you should show the other person this poem. It's really sweet.

P.P.S Sorry about the blank comment I just learned how to make these into reviews!




penprincess says...


Thanks so much!! I really appreciate your feedback :-)



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Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:29 pm
BriannaNyx says...






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Tue Oct 27, 2015 6:31 am
sagnik wrote a review...



this poem is very good and like my poem love or lust betrayal or trust. please read it if you please. i like he way you narrated the whole poem comparing internal attributes of love to external ways to depict love. i like the polite feeble approach which shall lieave effective impact on the readers . it does not have any heartbreaking verses but have the glooy yet peaceful tone. and remember a man has manyb things except arms lips and eyes.




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Mon Oct 26, 2015 5:48 pm
SunsetTree wrote a review...



Hi there. I've never reviewed any poems before, so this will be a learning experience for me, heheh. I guess what I'll do is go through line by line, tell you my interpretation of the poem (x_x) and anything I might do different.

in the fading silver light of dusk,
we leave our marks on each other:
me, with my fingernails;
and you, with your teeth -


So the narrator is talking to someone, in my mind, maybe someone they were in a romantic relationship with. They're saying as the day ends, they touch them and they bite back. It's an interesting use of "fingernails" here, because you could've also used "fingertips". However, fingertips are gentle, and ordinarily they're very difficult to hurt anybody with. Fingertips are different, as they can definitely leave a cut. So can teeth. That makes me think the narrator and the person they're speaking to haven't always had the friendliest relationship.

but deeper than that;
me with my heart,
and you with yours.


Ok, so that's simple enough, they are in a relationship. The use of the present tense makes me think they're still in a relationship, regardless of what I said before :p So far, what I get out of it is even though they may hurt each other, they still do love and care for each other.

fearing, as i always have,
assigning meaning to something which has none;
i am quiet.
i don't tell you that your eyes thrill me
infinitely more than your hands do,
or that the way the shadows tuck themselves into your collarbones
leaves me breathless.


So the narrator is quite paranoid, it seems. They over analyze actions, words that don't mean much at all. I tend to do that too, and I'm sure a lot of others do as well, so it's pretty relate-able. I guess the latter portion of this piece says that the narrator doesn't tell them how much they enjoy them as a person, which again is something I feel a lot of people can relate to.

how could i?
i don't have the words, or the guts to say them.
all i have are my hands, my fingernails, my lips -
more than flesh and bone; tiny vessels
that together form my only means of conveyance -

but, fearing, as i always have,
assigning meaning to something which has none;
i will simply say this:

i hope you, too, feel as if
we go together
really, really well.


So, ultimately, the narrator doesn't have the confidence to tell the person how much they love them, and they feel insignificant, or that they don't have the words to say it.

One thing that struck me as a bit "out there" is the poem's title. I guess it properly conveys the narrator's paranoia, but that's not the overall gist I got from the poem. It does grab eyes though, so there's that.

the shadows tuck themselves into your collarbones


This is a very powerful line by itself, and I respect what you were going for here, but it is a bit too figurative for me. What I get out of this line is that despite the darkness falls inside of them, the narrator doesn't really care, but eh, I'd prefer something more literal, it just doesn't wrap up that stanza well enough for me.

Can't say there's anything I'd change about the poem, it's really good as is :p




penprincess says...


Thanks so much :-)



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Mon Oct 26, 2015 3:45 am
TheDarkWriter says...



Amazing, just amazing!! :)




penprincess says...


Thank you! :)



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Mon Oct 26, 2015 2:54 am
chhlovebooks wrote a review...



Dear penprincess, this free verse poem of yours is magnificent! You truly have talent as a writer! I am very fond of your imagery, and how the girl's reaction and shyness seem so realistic. Realism in a poem such as this seems to add another dimension of meaning when done right, and you have most certainly accomplished that. I can't really find a lot wrong with this besides a few easily fixed punctuation and capitalization errors. Here they are: in the first sentence, "in" needs to be capitalized, "fearing" in the second stanza needs capitalization, all of the times you put "i" you need to capitalize it, in the fourth stanza "how?" and "all" need capitalizing, and in the last stanza, you need a comma between the two reallys. Sorry if I nitpicked a little, but again, you have almost no errors to correct. Please keep writing, for this was magnificent! ^\/^




penprincess says...


Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it :)



chhlovebooks says...


You are most welcome!




What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god -- the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!
— William Shakespeare